Faded - Comments

I really liked this story. It was sad, and dark, yet beautifull.

I truly felt for the girls, terrible, heart breaking loss.

The only constructive critisism i have, is that you used she alot in the one paragraph. When you continually start a sentance with the same word, it begins to get a little redundent.

Not much else to say, except that i really like your writing.

This was incredibly beautiful and heartfelt. You kept me interested for the entire story and even thought it wasn't like it was incredibly shocking or full of twists, I felt like it was because I was so invested. I loved the dialogue, especially. I think realistic dialogue is really important and you've done a really good job of that here. I could imagine their voices and their inflections and the pauses were in all the right spots.

I also want to thank you for your comment on my story. It was very lovely and it made me smile. :)

This is stunning.

The idea could be so clichéd, but you turn it into something that is purely a pleasure to read. I wish it had lasted longer!

You drew me in straight from the first line, and I knew I had to keep going, needed to keep going to find out more about this situation and about the characters. I certainly wasn't disappointed!

Your description, I think, is the most beautiful thing about this. It's lovely and smooth and some of your phrases are very original and inventive! In particular, the one that stood out to me was this -
"Her half-faded face turned up towards the moon. For a moment she simply felt lost, like a little whisp of nothing. It was that moment that she ceased. No anger that she had felt before could save her now. It was simply gone."
It's a very touching paragraph, almost to the point of heartbreaking. The sheer confusion and disbelief and pain at what she must be feeling is all coming to a head and as a reader, I empathised with her up to where I felt exactly like her - I understood her pain and grief.

But the end! Gosh, it's so bittersweet and beautiful and asdfghjkl; I can't describe it but it's just fantastic. Just...wow.

Ugh, that totally sucks. If a guy decided he was gay and dumped me for another man, or if he was bisexual and dumped me for another man I would totally be shamed for life. This is why I will never date a man I assume may be gay, is extremely metrosexual, or bisexual. It would just end very badly for me lmfao. I like your imagery in this though, I really like the way it's written in general. Although I found a few spelling errors throughout.

you know what they say love hurts and it kills.

I hate that she loved him for him to leave her like that that's just aught but it was a beautiful story I got a bit confused but I still managed to understand

"if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it's yours" I love that quote and in a way it's true I just dislike the pain you feel afterwards

First of all - the layout is absolutely fantastic. I adore it so much, it's simple, yet elegant and fits with the story so well.

I really, really liked this. It was so short, but you packed so many emotions into it, it doesn't matter. I never could understand the whole breaking heart thing when someone breaks up with a person, but this works. When you said 'her kind', my mind jumped instantly to fantasy fun time, and everything that I imagined about what she was added so much more to the story.

You let the readers take it as they may. Fabulous.

I caught one little spelling mistake: whisp should be wisp. :)

10/10. <3

This was beautiful and haunting, and written extremely well. I don't quite understand why the girl is being so meoldramatic but in a way it adds to the story that you're spinning and weaving. It was terribly and wonderful when she told him to go to the boy. I'm confused what you meant by "her kind" though, since you don't really elaborate.

Well done!