Best Thing - Comments

  • UnknownCircus

    UnknownCircus (100)

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    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    29
    Location:
    Great Britain (UK)
    Hello.

    First off, i would like to thank you for getting your entry in before the deadline. I appreciate it.

    I really like your style of writing, it was flowing and worked well. Your layout was simple and easy to read, and most of your punctuation was good. The only think i spotted was one line that was awkward.

    "His arms feel naturally around my waist" I'm not sure If it was suppose to say "His arms feel natural around my waist" or "His arms felt natural around my waist" but other than that you did really well.

    I loved how simple your story was. It was set in just one scene and you described everything really well. It was sweet idea and you incorporated your wish nicely. I loved the fact that the wish was from someone other than the main character, it really made your entry different.
    I also liked how you made all the little things count such as the small kiss he gave her. It really showed that it meant so much to her.
    You are a talented writer, and thank you again for getting your entry in on time. I wish you the best in the contest, your entry was definitely very good. Well done x
    May 17th, 2011 at 06:28pm
  • breathless lullabies

    breathless lullabies (100)

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    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    29
    Location:
    United States
    This was absolutely adorable. C:
    March 5th, 2011 at 06:24am