Forbidden Fruit - Comments

I don't know who these characters are outside of reading this, so it was a little difficult for me to get my bearings at first, but I think you do a good job with you descriptions, and that helps. In particular, I like the way you introduce the girl in the second paragraph- there is some nice imagery there.

I honestly think this has the potential to be the introduction to something longer -I also think it could be more meaningful that way than as a self-contained scene- but if you want to keep it as a one-shot then that's your business.

Anyone say sex much? I don't know who Eve is because I'm not that far in the series, but God do I love her in this drabble. It was epic on so many levels! I absolutely loved it! You wrote it so well and just gave such life even to this short little piece. This was so good! I absolutely loved it! <3

So I have absolutely no idea what just went on, mostly because I don't know who Eve and Dean are which is of course my fault.

I can say of course that is was really intense and well written. It's not so much a drabble to me, but a prologue because it was so long. Also it feels like the idea will continue by missing the little piece of closure it deserves.

I can say that it was everything it should be, it was hot when it was supposed to be hot, and cruel when it was supposed to be cruel. Great tone.

One thing:
damn herpe worm on steroids.”?
herpes worm? Or harpy worm? I'm confused.

This was very well written, and though I've never watched the show, this just made me want to se it so bad XD Your imagery is quite well and I could see everything clearly as if I was there. I found the ending a bit humorous to say the least, with Sam bursting in and then Dean cussing.

Overall, this was very well written <33 Nicely done

I will admit right off the bat that I've never seen Supernatural, so I'm going to read this as an original. (: First off, I really liked the layout; it was simple but not too simple.

Her pink stained teeth. I thought that description was even creepier than the mentions of blood on her dress. I don't know what Eve has done but I really like how you managed to get the fact she's done something across with just the description of her. I really liked the ending too; it made me laugh.

I liked this. I think you developed Dean's character well enough so that I didn't have to know anything about Supernatural to be able to understand him. Good job. (:

I died. I just drooled and then died because Dean is just so... unf. You portray him perfectly and I can just hear him say those things and act like that. So I die because I can picture him being all sexy like that.

And dude, I can totally picture Dean and Eve hooking up. Granted, I wouldn't like it so I love that Sam totally ruined the moment. Wonderful job, love. <3