Distorted - Comments

Hi i am here for comment swap :) I just started the story and I can tell you that I really enjoy it so far. I will for sure continue to read it. I really like your style of writing. Since I am new to writing I really hope to grow like you to make my stories seem more realistic. I do have to admit that it was a bit gruesome but I still loved it. I really like how Kendall is trying to convince herself that she is normal by saying that she is normal and there is nothing wrong with her. Even though she is having nightmares about killing people. I like how I feel like i am going through everything she is going through. As if I was in her head just watching along, you caught my attention in the first chapter and made me want to read more. I hope I grow and learn to write like you. Thank you for sharing this story :)

Here for Comment swap :) I have to admit before i continue that i only read the first 3 chapters. The writing is good just not as descriptive as i need it to be. Most of your description seem to come in the form of how things where said. (i'm deaf so I can't imagine it) You do add things like rolling the eyes or pinching the bridge of her nose. But nothing about the environment that they are in. The relationship between Kendall and people for school (like Cassie) seems realistic. This story does seem like a good one but it's just not for me :)

I remember this story! I'm reviewing chapter six for right now because I remember what happened,

Chapter Six
Awwww! Poor Kendall. :( Despite this short chapter, there is such raw emotions and I'm feeling Kendall's pain. :( I will subscribe and read the rest a bit later But I promise you, I will finish it. :)

*characters (s) are very intriguing and I love them. Keep on writing!

*characters (s) are very intriguing and I love them. Keep on writing!

This story is very well written, I've only read a couple chapters but I hope to read more once I have time. The character are very intriguing and I love them. Keep on writing!

Hey, I'm from the comment swap; i am currently on chapter thirteen. And so far there is suspense, anger, deep emotion along with eventful and interesting characters; I will defiantly read more when I have the time too; I find this story extremely well written in a punchy and not-to-descriptive dialog. It really reminds me of the film "Donnie Darko" the disturbed mind is a strange place to be...I can relate to this; but luckily I don't dream of murdering people, too often xD I think swhat wpuld have made this story even better plot wise; would have been a build up to his insanity, a denying persona; where he denied that he ended up killing someone, denied that his dreams were almost real; just to lead on the reader a bit more; making them clueless yet making them want to read more. Yet I need to finish this because you may have set up something better :D well done! Great story so far <3

So far I have only read up to chapter 11, but I will definitely keep reading. I love Christian (I love his name too) and he seems a interesting character that is well developed. The whole idea of this story is also very new and original and I really like it so far. I'm going to read the rest of it now!

Wow! Well for starters I love the story! It's really well written as well thought out. I like how you keep a lot of mystery in it so it draws people in. Really great plot and an interesting idea for a story! It's awesome! I also love the layout and picture you chose! Great for the story. Great job!

I love the picture. The first paragraph of the story caught me off guard but I really like it. Its definitely well written. The end of the first chapter is a bit.. gruesome maybe. But in a good way. I like how it sets up the rest of the story. You have a great style and this is a great start. Best of luck!

I was hooked by the first chapter. The storyline is good, and I didn’t find any grammatical or spelling errors. I was sent here by Comment Swapping, but I’m glad it sent me here. You use great detail and I can really picture what is going on. Wonderful job. :)

After reraading the first chapter I fell in love, I'm not fond of the layout, though. (Maybe some pictures?:3) But I like how you describe everything up until the last point in the chapter. I also Like how short the chapters are, I don't usually read something too long, let alone take the time and write something like that.
The fourth paragraph of the second chapter made me laugh harder than I should have. I also love to end the chapter on good dialogue. (I do it all the time.)
So, I'm going to finish reading!

I like your layout a lot. It's really fits with the mood of this story. I like the summary a lot too. It's just enough to make the reader interested in reading more, but doesn't give much away.

The first chapter's very interesting. I like that it starts with her going to the doctor when the dreams are already esablished instead of her finding out about them and then trying to figure them out down the line.

I think it's kind of creepy that the only thing she can think of is to say that she has nothing to hide. It seems like the dreams have already taken over so much of her life that they're all she can think about. I like how you describe Kendall's thoughts. She seems very real and just exhausted from the dreams, but is still trying to pretend that she's normal. I think this is good foreshadowing for what could happen in the future if she is exposed as not being normal. I'm curious to know what made her desperate enough to want to see a therapist and tell someone that she's not normal, like she wants everyone to think she is.

You do a very good job describing what Kendall's feeling and thinking. It's hard to tell what's real and what Kendall's imagining. I really like that I feel like I'm in Kendall's head, going through it with her.

I like Christian a lot, too. I like how complex he is. The only problem I'm having with him is that so far (As of Ch. 9), he seems a little too understanding. I don't think it's normal for him to not act even a little hurt that Kendall keeps rejecting him.

Things are starting to get creepy now. I'm curious as to whether Kendall killed him or is having visions of someone killing him, or something equally weird. Ch. 12 didn't have the depth that all of your previous chapters have. You did a great job talking about what she was thinking, but didn't talk about how she felt as much.

I don't feel like Jude is a normal person, which I'm sure is intentional. I wonder what plans you have for him, but I don't see him as a helpful, nice person so far.

You timed Cassie's death exactly right. I was starting to wonder what was going on with her and now I know. I wonder how that would cause school to be canceled though. Was she found in the school, or are they in such a small town that something like this would cause school to be canceled.

I don't really understand the note at the end of Ch. 16, but that just makes it more interesting and more of a cliffhanger. I'm sure it'll all be explained in the next chapter.

Maybe Jude isn't evil, but he certainly comes of that way. I'm trying to figure out what could possibly make Kendall go over to Jude, when she knows that he's the one person who would make Christian madder than anyone else, but I can't. I'm glad you explained that in the next chapter. I still like Christian was better than I like Jude though.

There's a strange jump between ch. 23 and 24. I thought I'd missed a chapter at first. It didn't really make sense. By the way, why hasn't Kendall read the letter from Cassie? It looks like she forgot all about it.

I knew there was a reason I didn't like Jude! That was a scummy thing of him to do.

Poor Jared! I feel so bad for him. This is getting really suspenseful and I really want to know who the killer is. It's great because I feel like you're leaving clues as to who it is, but I still have no idea who the killer is.

I had no idea it would be her brother! I feel stupid for not guessing earlier now. That was really well written. You're great at writing mysteries.

The end of the 33th chapter was kind of confusing, but I can now see from the next chapter that is was meant to be, so well done.

I love the ending. Everything was explained. I think the greatest part was that it wasn't really all about Kendall at all. It was a strange twist and I really enjoyed this whole story.

For starters, the short summary really caught my attention.

“Your thoughts are the darkest things you own.”

I don’t think that I could agree with that statement more. The layout is simple and effective, though I find the pink text to be slightly distracting. That isn’t a big deal though. I love the picture you chose for the banner and looking at it really drives home the idea that this story is about dreams.

Chapter 1-I like how you began the story with a therapy session. It kind of sets the mood for the entire story. It lets the reader know immediately that this story will likely revolve around the troubled life of Kendall. By the way, I love that name. I also love how the therapist seems kind of exasperated with her; as if he hopes that she’ll stop having reasons to come see him. Her description of the dreams was just creepy.

Chapter 2-My name is Kendall Scott and I used to be normal. Though this is a serious statement, it made me laugh a little, because I know how it feels. I know how it feels to look in the mirror and wonder why the person that you used to be had to be replaced with this new, unfamiliar being. The fact that she scribbles out her original thoughts shows that she is scared and insecure. The last sentence was a good way to end the chapter.

Chapter 3-In most stories there are antagonists, and the description of these plastic, stuck up, arrogant girls came to no surprise. I’m glad she stood up for herself, but I wasn’t expecting her comment at the end. I’d run away if I were those girls…haha.

Chapter 4- I could tell when Christian was first introduced that he was going to be her love interest. He seems nice, and caring, yet a tad bit insensitive. Not intentionally though. He just seems over eager. And that last part, with the hallucination, was freaky.

That’s all I’ve read so far, but I absolutely love it. Good grammar and spelling, gripping plot line, it has it all. I’ll definitely be reading more. Great job, and happy late Halloween! :D

I only read up to chapter five, I have quite a few more stories to read for the mibba halloween candy give away, lol.

Layout- I really like the simple layout you chose for your story, it's the exact oposite of the story. Most people try to match the layout to their story and by doing the opposite you made a really good choice. The bright pink is a little hard on the eyes, but that just might be me. (I need to start wearing my glasses more often).

I really liked the banner you chose. Dream catchers can hold a lot of significance to certain people and it's the main focus of the story in a way. The picture was one of the first things that caught my eye, I found myself wondering what it had to do with the story. Now, I know.

The spelling and grammar are really good. I really like your writing style. There's not too much detail, not too little detail either. You have just the right amount of deatil and that's what keeps me wanting to read more. I like how you sort of end each chapter with a little cliff hanger, that's another reason why I want to keep reading the story.

The character development is really good too. I know I keep saying really good about a lot of things, but it's the truth! I like how you describe how she thinks about her dreams. You almost get the sense that she hates the preppy girls and that makes you want to feel the same way. It's easy to realte to the character and feel sorry for what she is going through. I can't wait to finish reading your story so I can find out what happens to he, what her dad does and what is to become of her and Christian.

Overall, you have a really good story here. I don;t think I have read a story like this before, or even heard of something like this. What I have read so far is one of the best things I have read on this site. I have only said that to a few other people before. This story could probably be made into a movie, it's just that good. I subscribed to this so I can continue readin it later.
Keep up the good work!! :)

The summary tipped me off immediately that this was going to be a unique story. I was not let down.

The first line of the first chapter was one of the best ways I've ever seen a story open. I adored it. The final paragraph in it gave me chills. I was really into it then.

I loved the second chapter, especially the beginning and end. It was seriously creative - the whole thing. Again, you may have kept it short and sweet, but you kept me in the story easily.

The third chapter was so relatable. The bullies and the bullied. Such a normal scene in an abnormal life. I love it.

Your characters reactions are so realistic and not overly dramatic. It's a refreshing thing to see. I really appreciate it. And you're really good at playing the shock factor. You can throw things at the reader flawlessly and leave them clueless. It's a good talent. And I am truly envious, lol.

In long stories, I type out my comment as I read and right now, I'm at chapter seven/eight and I have no idea what in the world is going on but I'm so into it I have to find out. This is probably going to be my longest comment ever, because I love this so much, lol.

I like how the romance so far is just adorable rather than hot and heavy immediately. It's nice to see.

Your cliffhangers would drive me crazy if I didn't have chapters to read right after that, aha. You're really good at them. I'd like to see more characterization with your main character, though. I get that something is going on and she's mentally unstable but that's all I get.

I like all the point of views you use. It really adds to the story. My favorite is probably Dallas Alder. And I swear, if you keep shocking me like you do, I don't know what I'll do. -_-

This was probably my favorite line(s): "It's okay." But it wasn't. I just didn't want him to know that.

What I love most about this story is that it's written in a way that represents the title: Distorted. It's awesome. I don't know if you did it on purpose, but it's really cool.

Your killer's point of view and character is flawless. Wow. If you've ever read James Patterson, you'll know that he's a revered mystery/thriller writer. Almost all the time, he includes the killer's point of view and he's done it the best. I can honestly say that you get really close to being as good as him.  He's my favorite author. I don't know if you realize what a compliment that is from me, but its a big one.

....I just got to the end. Oh. My. God.
I wanted to cry and it was so awesome.
You truly wrote a masterpiece.
Bravo.

I love the dark layout and the banner of the dream catcher adds onto the mysteriousness. Maybe I should say mystery.

Anyways, since this story has 35 chapters, I shall read the first few chapters, but no worries! I will return a bit later to enjoy it even more. :)

The summary says just enough to lure the reader in. As they always say: “Hook, line, sinker!” or something to that effect.

Chapter One:
Despite its shortness, this was a wonderful start. I like how Kendall evades the doctor’s gaze. She seems somewhat shy and scared to tell anyone about her dream because of what most people would say, “It’s all in your head.” I like it though. :3

Chapter Two:
I remember having to do that sort of thing in middle school. Writing something down about myself and reading it to the whole class I mean. I can really feel Kendall’s insecurities surfacing but at least she’s being brave about telling the truth.

Chapter Three:
This is a bit creepy. :O But I guess it was to be expected since Kendall doesn’t suppress those dark thoughts. Kendall has a lot of backbone at least and I don’t like the superior attitude the Imposters share.

Chapter Four:
Awww, I like how you put in a love interest for Kendall, but she seems so scared about hurting him. He seems to care about her though, which is a good thing because Kendall needs someone to care about her. ;)

The ghost of that girl in the bathroom was creepy and scary but that’s what you were aiming for. :) You did nice job with this chapter. Good job!

Chapter Five:
Now that was a weird twist! Having Kendall kill Cassie but she kinda had it coming and I’m glad the doctor is willing to help her. =3

I know this seems like a bit of a short comment in comparison to some of the others that you may get but I did enjoy the story. You have a very good writing style and all of Kendall’s emotions are easy to follow. I’m actually loving Kendall! =D

Hello. You commented quite a while ago on my journal and I am only now able to find the time to get down to reading. Upon reading the first several chapters I am quite intrigued. It seems like a very interesting premise and I know I shall return to reading more when I am able. Great job and I am looking forward to reading the rest when I can. :-)

Okay, Jude taking Kendall to the cemetery was the cutest thing ever! He still rubs me the wrong way, though. It's probably just me, maybe, but I think he is up to something.

"No," he said, shaking his head. He reached over and cupped my cheek. "It wasn't supposed to be like this," he murmured, more to himself than me. "It was just fucking business, I was not supposed to get attached."

Ha! I knew it. Where is this going? I am dying here, and instead of reading I'm writing this. Oh my Lord, I cannot believe it. So he was getting paid the whole entire time. Awh.

Christian should have been here to see my rampage. He would have loved it.

Sadly enough, I am inlove with Christan/this guy I'm imagining to be him. Awesome.

I'm so glad Christian apologized to her.

"...You're never going to see your daughter again, Mrs. Scott. I hope you're happy."

Brilliant, really. I love how much Christian worries about her! That is completely ah-dorable, seriously. I am in temporary love with this fictional character. Don't judge me, bahaha!

Christian was gone.

I am so scared for Christian. I hope he doesn't get killed. It's really nice of Jude to help her find him, I guess in a way he is repaying her -- since he did get payed to befriend her in the first place.

Seth Hawkins is psychotic. Enough said.

I am at the edge of my seat.

Jude saved Christian, that is so brave.

That was: mind-blowing, beautiful, crazy, wonderful, amazing -- I am so impressed with the ending. I never saw any of wheat I just read coming. From what Christian did after his sister died, to Jude taking the bullet, to the last line. I applaud you. Incredibly job! I look forward to reading more of your stories.

This story was amazing and I love the ending! It was very well written and I can't wait to see more from you.