Mm, this is interesting. Very original. I liked your "long description" a lot. It seemed to have everything one of those needs to, to captivate a possible reader. And that's rare for those. As for the story... It's just the beginning, so I am going to give it a chance before I start commenting too much. I did get confused by one thing, though - the lovely description mentioned above, led me to believe that the story would start out post-apocalyptic. I did not realise I was wrong until I was introduced to Emily (hey, the board-directors could have been made from card-board for all I knew!). But... I like it. I'm loooking forward to see what happens next.
I liked your "long description" a lot. It seemed to have everything one of those needs to, to captivate a possible reader. And that's rare for those.
As for the story... It's just the beginning, so I am going to give it a chance before I start commenting too much.
I did get confused by one thing, though - the lovely description mentioned above, led me to believe that the story would start out post-apocalyptic. I did not realise I was wrong until I was introduced to Emily (hey, the board-directors could have been made from card-board for all I knew!).
But... I like it. I'm loooking forward to see what happens next.