I Scream into the Night for You - Comments

So I'm honestly not a TH fan and neither am I a fanfic fan, but I'll definitely give this a try (: The flashback at the beginning was cute; however, when I see authors putting *flashback* at the top of the text, it sort of makes the story look juvenile. You can put the text in italics; that way, it'll make it easier to distinguish from the other chapters. Anyways, back to the review. I like the relationship that the daughter and mother shared. I also like how accurately you portray the child. Alot of times, the authors make the child waaay too intelligent for his/her age, like knowing the quadratic formula at five years old. Not gonna happen. Anyways, I really enjoyed this (: Lovely job!

love love love love the story its amazing
it has drama to the fullest
I cant wait for the next chapter :D

I have no idea who the band is at the top. lol
I do love the layout and I do like your writing style.
One thing I did not like is the all caps you used kind of often. Haha.
But thats okay. lol :)
Great job. :)
I liked the intensity of it and the radicalness.

I am a tokio hotel fan so naturally i loved this story. I think it's very unique which is a good thing. You're a very talented writer. I love the descriptions and the way you write the characters. The layout is great.

This is amazing! I love the layout, and the little icons at the beginning, they look cute :)

I saw a only about one-two mistakes though! At the end of the first chapter, I think you should look the last paragraph over again? I believe that you have an 'I' where I think it should be 'I'd'. But other then that, I found nothing wrong with this story!

I really did enjoy reading it, and I will be reading more of it in the distant future. Your sentences flow nicely, and I can tell you put a lot of thought into the chapters and words that you used. Your descriptions are amazing too, I wish I could describe things like you do. :)

You are defnently a talented writer. I could feel everything that McKenna could, and then some; you have a way of writing that just makes it seem like a 3-D movie while I'm reading it!

Great job, I can't wait to read more!

AWW. Poor Kennie. :(((

The story is off to a good start with the first chapter. :) Side Note here: I'm a TH fan too. :)

You captured the personality of a little kid perfectly with that flashback. it was good enough that it felt like I was watching my sister when she was that age. Georg's response was quite amusing, and typically for a boy. Although, I must say I was suprised when he asked if she'd like to play with him. Most boys act like girls have germs at that age. Overall, it was good, particullarly with the descriptions.

Okay, I'm guessing by the banner that this is a Tokio Hotel story. :o I don't know much about them other than 2 of them are Bill & Tom, and a couple of their songs so if I fail at reading this, sorry, aha.

Aww. The little girl is so cute. :) I loved her personality, and how she thought, because that's what most little people think. Haha. :D Not to mention, I love little kids, so...:)

HAHA GO KENNIE. She is someone I would like. Anyways, I liked this chapter. It really contradicted what we learned about her in chapter 1, because it showed she grew up! :o

Whoa. Aaron sounds like a real dick, and a perv like Kennie said. I hope she won't get mad for me calling her Kennie, ahah. :D

This is definitely original, and I like that (: I'd really like to continue to read on to see what happens as this story develops.

I'm not really a huge fan of Tokio Hotel and I don't read most of the fan fiction about them (just because I find some of them very poorly written), but I think you managed to change my mind. :)
I like the layout, first of all. The first chapter was pure gold, and I love your writing style. Most stories just jump into the middle of everything, making the plot seem confusing and shit. And I totally went 'aww' in that scene with Georg. So cute! :)
The therapist was such a bitch, eww. Hate her. McKenna's was just right about being cocky to her.
And Aaron scared me to death. Reminds me of the typical guys who have problems. :| Chapter 4 was pure fluffy, and it made me smile so much. :'> Reminds me how easy it is to be a kid.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to see more! This is one really great story.

Wow, I loved your first chapter! The layout was appealing as well. I like how you used an appropriate amount of descriptions but also keeping the vocabulary at a decent level for a young girl. I like how you portrayed the innocence of childhood that we too often take for granted while we're young. Afterwards though we all wish we could go back. It's sad how this is her last good memory :/

That little memory was the first day of my forever, or what was supposed to be my forever. Guess that’ll never happen.
I really liked those lines, there was a lot of foreshadowing in them.
I'm subscribing! Great job!

First I gotta say I love the story layout, nice bright colors. I haven't seen bright colors in a long time, cause most of the stories I read have dark colors and such for their layout. hehe...moving on...

I think this story has a great start.
You have written this beautifully also.
I also love the balance of the dialogue and details
Some stories I have read don't really have that balance
if you know what I mean..moving on...

I can't wait for more, I want to see what happens in the end of this
Keep up the good work dear

<3

The smell of apples, pumpkins and leaves were all around me. The sky was a bright blue, and the trees were starting to change colors. It was a cool crisp fall Saturday.

I think that was my favorite bit of detail in this whole chapter. <33

This is really, really interesting. Your detail was lovely and I enjoyed it. The end had me curious. What happened for that to be one of her last happy memories?

This was amazing. A really, really nice job. :) <3

Super original I've never read a story like this and I am interested in how the main character grows.

This looks like a great start, I can't wait for the main character to develope more..
I'm subbing :)
I think it's a really interesting concept that you have come up with and it's very original :)