You said that this is your first story, but damn it's good! You've got a really good sense of imagery--it was easy to imagine the characters acting their roles in their surroundings. Your dialogue is nice and clean, well-placed, and easy to read in general. Also, judging by the description for the story, I'm really excited about how the whole of the story will turn out. Like I said, this is really good for a first story--keep it up!
June 1st, 2013 at 09:05pm