Invisible - Comments

Reading this is so Different to me, the Style you write in is kinda strange but I like it! Good Job!, You also make it look so easy.

I just have to keep reading!

I'm reading this for a comment swap and since i haven't really edited something like this before it's going to be a little hard XD.

Now I don't know if this is how it should be so correct me if I'm wrong but where its says

pull her to safetybut it willneverhappen.

On chapter four you could almost take out the last three lines. But it will never happen. The rest of that chapter backs up the fact that she cant so i don't think you really need to say it.

Also here

I guess I'll never know.I can always dream,wonder,read books about it,hear stories,see photosof other normal families

You could take out the 'of other normal families; because next you say but its not the same, it already backs up you last verse thingy.

Like i said before I'm new to this style so i don't know 100% but I like your story, it cuts right down to the point and theres no waiting around, It draws people in right away and that's good, keeps the reader reading. You can count on my Recommendation!

Update!! X

Omg thats amazing your so talented!!! X

I love this. I've never read something quite like this. The raw emotion.... Update soon. (:

Glad your back, and I absolutly love this story. My favorite verse novel ive read! Update soon!!!

I just found this and I've got to say that reading verse for once is really refreshing, most of the time I get distracted by the layout and how short verse chapter are (and thus how few things happen each chapter), but now I'm not!

update soon

Still reading soooo happy your back! Update soon.

yeey, you're back!!!! hope you're okay. You're such a good writer! poetic. i love it!

yes good :) i love this! :D

I loved it. I had forgotten why I loved this story so much. But, I am reminded after that update. I love how it shows feelings that we all feel, yet its expressed so....

I don't know, but I love it! : )

This is soo amazing!!! I love it and can't wait for an update!

I think you wrote a very interesting story and this style is very unique. I have read a few published books that are written this way, so I think you might be onto something! I had to really focus to understand what was happening because there was a lot imagery, but that's okay! There is something about this that makes it such a nice read. Maybe because it's quick, or it may be the message you're giving. Either way, I love it!

I love this. It's very well written! I wish i could just save her!

This is one of the most amazing things I have ever read.
The short chapters make it easier to read more, and the
way you wrote it made even what you thought to be boring
chapters exciting to me.
Please update this soon. I subscribed and am looking forward
to reading a lot more. (:

I must say, I've never read a verse story before, and you have set one heck of a bar for them.

I love your style to bits, especially the parts where it gets into the deep and dark emotions. You're quite skilled at driving those home.

I love the dad here. Er, well, I mean that I love him as a character, as a person he's downright terrible and I want to punch him whenever he walks into a scene. You do such a good job portraying how much of a sicko he is and the psychological torture he puts Jacki through. Chapter 40 was especially striking to me. I'm eagerly awaiting more scenes with him and feeling like a horrible person because of it. XD

More more more. o3o

Love the new layout, keep it. Epic update. This really is my fav. novel/story on mibba. I won't lie. I don't know why, maybe its the verse form, maybe its a hint of realism in it. I don't know, but its great as always.

love the new layout keep it and please update soon

It's really good(:
I'm on chapter 45(:
Keep writing, its amazing!

love this update soon please