The intro is amazing. It pulls you in and still gives you insight as to why Gerard is such a worried person.
And this is weird, but in a lot of stories with a first-person narration, it doesn't come naturally to me to read everything in the main character's voice. With you, when you write as Gerard, I hear his voice in my head without even trying. You write like he talks. It's amazing.
When you told me that this story kind of ended up being about Mikey, I could picture the kind of story that you were talking about, and this was not it. We hear all of Gerard's thoguhts, all of his internal battles, and stuff like that. God, Vonn, this is amazing. Never doubt yourself.
And this is weird, but in a lot of stories with a first-person narration, it doesn't come naturally to me to read everything in the main character's voice. With you, when you write as Gerard, I hear his voice in my head without even trying. You write like he talks. It's amazing.
When you told me that this story kind of ended up being about Mikey, I could picture the kind of story that you were talking about, and this was not it. We hear all of Gerard's thoguhts, all of his internal battles, and stuff like that. God, Vonn, this is amazing. Never doubt yourself.