August 27th, 2011 at 01:54am
Oh, my God. Twincest. o////////o
Seriously, this was incredibly hot; you got a knack for slash. <3
ahhh...i love shower scenes btw :D
Above All Else - Comments
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July 17th, 2011 at 05:07am
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First off, I'm very sorry for how long it's taken me to get out all of these comments. *facepalm*
Now onto the story. It had a good plot, and I liked the initial idea behind everything.
The only thing is, sometimes stories can have just a bit too much sex in them, and I feel like this kind of did. The sex scenes were well written, but I think they overtook the story and kind of snuffed out the shine of everything else.
I feel like the rest of the story would have been completely amazing if there wasn't so much sex. I mean, I love sex scenes as much as the nextpossibly overly pervy girl, lol, but I think this story would have flourished without so much of it.
I did catch some grammatical or spelling flutters, but I could navigate myself through most of them just fine, so no worries there.
So, overall, I did really like it and I'm glad you entered it into my contest.
And...the results of said contest should be up by tomorrow, I'm hoping. :)June 7th, 2011 at 05:11am -
noice, noice! hehehe, this was adorable. God, i love slash. XDApril 19th, 2011 at 03:05am
I usually don't point out little errors like this but I've seen it a few times now; "Come on Chris don't you want me there?" He questioned. That he should not be capitalized. Unless you are using a proper name or I after quotation marks, the word is lower case. I noticed a few other small grammatical errors; nothing too severe but just look out for those next time. :)
I do have to agree with MusicalMasochist; it felt like there were too many sex scenes crammed into this piece. I think that it would have been great if you referenced the other ones but really focused on the actual sex scene and explored the emotions behind that a little more. Nonetheless, I'd like to thank you for entering this in my contest! :)