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  • stopkellinme

    stopkellinme (120)

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    "You've Already Written It!" Prewrite Contest:

    Layout: The layout is okay...it's not my favorite but it's not my least favorite either

    Content: This story was very pretty. Your imagery was great and I could connect with the main character. I like how it was a little glimpse into her world...very pretty.

    Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: Your diction was great and I caught no mistakes.

    Overall: This was a very pretty piece of writing. :)
    July 18th, 2011 at 10:48pm
  • goodbyeeeee

    goodbyeeeee (100)

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    Wow. Like everyone else said, the imagery was phenominal. :) My favorite line is, "It rustled the leaves and played with her hair; softly whispering peace all around her." :D I can relate to this story as well, because I love being outside. It's so calming. And like you said in your author's note, it actually made me seem calm! And the layout has that warm feeling to it. :) Overall, amazing! :D
    July 5th, 2011 at 08:29pm
  • Painter's Dream

    Painter's Dream (200)

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    She could hear the light sound of dancing leaves and the movement of the grass.

    This is my favorite line <3
    The imagery was just amazing (as usual) and I felt calm and peaceful while reading this.
    The layout matched with the banner and it just added to the imagery.
    Why you so talented? D:
    May 15th, 2011 at 11:52pm
  • purple haze.

    purple haze. (220)

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    This is a beautiful piece that you should be proud of.
    As I read it, I felt like I was in the picture in the banner, and your choice of words were really effective for the imagery. I loved the varying sentence structure and how you went into details about little things.
    I liked the ending, I found it very effective.
    Good job!
    May 15th, 2011 at 07:54pm
  • flyer.

    flyer. (850)

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    Awww, this is pretty :) It's got that home-y feeling, too; all simple and quiet and cozy.
    You've got some nice imagery in here too, and some...unique ways of describing/personifying things (like saying that the girl crawled, or the wind shuffled), which I quite liked.
    Beautiful banner, too.
    Overall, nice job!
    May 11th, 2011 at 12:28am
  • breakfast after ten;

    breakfast after ten; (100)

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    Your layout is beautiful. Simple but beautiful.

    You're a really good writer and I love the simplicity of this drabble. I don't normally read too many drabbles because I always feel like it's missing something but this was something I probably would have read if I had come across it. I think you paint a lovely picture with your imagery and you did a fantastic job on writing this.
    May 9th, 2011 at 03:07am
  • Bella Goes Away.

    Bella Goes Away. (860)

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    It's sweet, and your imagery is great. It's not really "about" anything though, and I'm too much of a picky bitch to feel my interest sparked by drabbles like this. But my own thoughts aside, I can see that it's good and that you're a good writer.

    The wind blew hard, yet gently, against the water.
    - I didn't like this sentence, only because it's very difficult to use two contradicting words and make it work. I find it as awkward as to say "the ice cream tasted great, yet it was awful". I mean, it's not wrong, per say, but I just don't see it fit.
    May 9th, 2011 at 01:07am
  • we are criticized.

    we are criticized. (100)

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    I really liked this, it was really calming and sort of promoted a state of tranquility. The imagery is wonderful, I could really picture everything as I was reading.

    There was one thing though, although its really futile : "The wind began to pick up and shuffle around quietly, slowing increasing." In this line, it is the second time you used shuffle, although in different context it still bothered me. But I feel that it may have been me just picking because the way you criticized mine.

    I enjoyed this thoroughly though.
    May 8th, 2011 at 05:19pm
  • aubs

    aubs (420)

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    I basically loved everything about this; it was just overall beautiful.
    May 5th, 2011 at 03:53am
  • Songz

    Songz (100)

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    Calmed me down girl.
    Darn it its night time
    otherwise i'd be out in my garden, chillin on the grass =)
    i really love this, its like extremely relaxing. Good job kiddo -)
    May 3rd, 2011 at 02:26am
  • fleur de paris.

    fleur de paris. (100)

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    I quite liked this. It's peaceful, adorable, happy, serene... It's like reading and being transported to a lovely new paradise all to myself, and it makes me reflect about home and the little joys in life. The detail of each occurrence is amazing. One thing, though:

    "A red leaf floated down from the tree above her and gently grazed the surface of the water, gently settling into it and floating along happily."

    Don't repeat gently, it sounds a bit off.

    How about,

    "A red leaf floated down from the tree above her and gently grazed the surface of the water, delicately settling into it and floating along happily."

    Other than that, I absolutely adored this.
    May 3rd, 2011 at 12:22am
  • colour me perfect.

    colour me perfect. (100)

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    I actually really, really liked this piece. I like the way the colours of your layout all tie in to create imagery of peacefulness and serenity, which goes along with all of your writing. Through few words you've created a place that seems like a sanctuary to me, and you described it with such vivid imagery that it made me wish for something beautiful like that to go to.

    It was written really well and I loved how the last line was so simple and summed everything up. This was an amazing short story. (:
    May 2nd, 2011 at 01:06am
  • QueenBedhead

    QueenBedhead (100)

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    I really like this! The layout is amazing, for starts, and the imagery was fantastic. I wish I could go there.... then again, I do have a forest and a pond in my backyard...
    May 1st, 2011 at 10:33pm
  • xBecomingxNumbx

    xBecomingxNumbx (100)

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    I loved the picture you used for your drabble, it contributed to the rest of your story very well. The imagery was amazing, I could picture the scene in my mind which is always something important I look for in writing. It was very calming to read just as it was for you to write it and it was a very cute drabble. This was great ^_^
    May 1st, 2011 at 10:32pm
  • chemical romantics.

    chemical romantics. (210)

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    Great Britain (UK)
    Oh wow, I love the layout for starters. It adds a very cosy, homely feel to it which only adds to the overall effect the piece has. I adored your descriptions, simple yet sweet. There was something about it that just kept me immersed in it. The whole emotion was tangible, and you could really feel the surrounding. This is really beautiful. :)
    May 1st, 2011 at 03:16am
  • Lizzie Borden.

    Lizzie Borden. (100)

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    This is really sweet, and the imagery is amazing. I love how calming and fluent it is. It really transported me to that little bit in the middle of the woods with the crisp, clean water all around.

    I really liked this piece :)
    May 1st, 2011 at 02:54am
  • she floats

    she floats (110)

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    The imagery in this is exquisite. I could picture the girl in my head, brown hair flying in the wind, sunlight on half on her face, red leaves scattered everywhere. It was lovely. Short, sweet. Simple. I thoroughly enjoyed this.
    April 30th, 2011 at 07:23pm