Like A Princess - Comments

  • Angelus91

    Angelus91 (100)

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    i feel like i already read this story...maybe the comment didn't go through. this is brought to you by comment swap...even though this is hella girly and not something i would choose to read, your layout is outstanding and the picture is great!
    I saw a few mistakes. (e.g. of what you did.
    'one of the maids stammered, stepping forward.')
    I think it should be:
    One of the maids stammered as she stepped forward. See, there are just a few simple mistakes that can revised easily. Other than that you have a great story on your hands and by the comments below me, I'm guessing you haven't written in a while. so you should. BECAUSE WRITERS WRITE! remember that.
    March 28th, 2013 at 08:41am
  • Snow Horror

    Snow Horror (100)

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    I misunderstood...
    September 12th, 2012 at 09:38pm
  • Snow Horror

    Snow Horror (100)

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    @ C V.D P
    YAY!
    August 22nd, 2012 at 04:46pm
  • C V.D P

    C V.D P (200)

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    @ XXXFadeToBlackXXX
    I totally just did! haha
    August 22nd, 2012 at 04:36pm
  • Snow Horror

    Snow Horror (100)

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    Meep! I loved this! Update! XD
    August 22nd, 2012 at 04:34pm
  • turducken

    turducken (100)

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    This could just be me, but I don't think the layout really went together with the banner. The blue-yellow-gray mixed with the purple doesn't really fit well. But I like the background pattern, it looks very legal and I think compliments the story well. :D

    I adore the way you describe the room, how intricate, it really gave it that almost luxurious setting to it, which definitely works well with the story. Your style really does well with the royal sort of touch to it, like medieval. It's pretty risky to steal a royal baby, but it makes me wonder why the maids did it in the first place. I think the first chapter is a really good opener.

    In the first paragraph, second chapter, you repeat "she sighed" twice and it sounds awkward. The relationship between Malcolm and Ariana I like, how he's so... tense about it, it really shows her character too how she'd go for the almost forbidden man, and how she teases him.

    It's a little odd that they knew it was triplets, just by the time period I wouldn't think they'd have ultrasounds. It's definitely interesting, I sort of think that the one maid with dirty blonde hair is Ariana's sister. It's definitely interesting to see how they're all so different just by the way they grew up! :D
    July 7th, 2011 at 04:44am
  • LifesJustMyCupOfTea

    LifesJustMyCupOfTea (100)

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    I love your layout. Its beautiful and its purple! (My favourite colour!) I really fell fascinated with the summary of the story. Along with the banner which made it look nice. I love your description and each characters part being played. I loved how you placed each girl's story in each individual chapter. You've got something good going here. Keep it up. :)
    July 7th, 2011 at 02:56am
  • mistresseulalie.

    mistresseulalie. (100)

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    I really liked the layout, it was very pretty. The summary made me want to read more, if you know what i mean, find out what happens to all of them.

    The second chapter was amazing, but I kinda agree with DarkWingedAngle that I'm a little sad that he gave into her.

    The third was pretty good, I liked how in was in a the past.

    All in all, a great job!! Lovely, I should say.

    I'm subbing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    July 7th, 2011 at 12:56am
  • Oceanid.

    Oceanid. (100)

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    The layout is really pretty. :)

    Summary
    The summary really draws me in and the mention of what each daughter is like as well as what happened to them is quite interesting and makes me want to read more.

    One
    The use of detail is wonderful and I love how the King and Queen seem caring as opposed to cold. I'm wondering where the child will be going and what will happen to Marie and Leanne. I'm hoping something happens to them...

    Two
    Ugh, I dislike her quite a bit already. Again, the descriptiveness is wonderful; painting a picture in the reader's mind. Honestly, I'm a little angry that he gave in to her. I'm wondering if the teacher realizes she'll probably just throw him away after a while...

    Three
    In this chapter we're given a peek into the past. I'm wondering what happended to the baby and the nurse after they left, but I'll just have to keep reading and find out.

    Overall good job, I will be subscribing.
    July 7th, 2011 at 12:23am
  • Camille Rose

    Camille Rose (100)

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    I thought the layout was quite nice, especially the banner image. The background is a tad distracting, but at the same time it isn't really so I wouldn't even bother working with it. It's gives off a nice air of royalty:)

    The walls were a creamy eggshell colour, painted over brick, beautiful intricacies and designs sculpted and carved into the walls and ceiling; which showed off the elegance and royalty of the King and Queen. Just so you know, the semi-colon after"ceiling" should just be a comma, because the second part of the sentence is not an independent clause.

    They were looking at her with starry-eyed attention, not exactly understand what was about to happen. I think you meanting understanding maybe?

    That's all I found for mistakes, so I give kudos to you! :)

    The idea of this is very cool; the idea of triplets all being seperated and only one is given the life all three should have had. I'm very curious to see where you take this story, and how the three will eventually find each other.

    I can't wait to see what you intend to do with this :D Lovely job!!
    July 7th, 2011 at 12:21am
  • Sunshyness.

    Sunshyness. (100)

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    The layout kinda distracts me, but other than that I loved it! It also reminded me of when I played games when I was little. It was very beautiful and creative. Nice job!
    July 6th, 2011 at 11:21pm
  • fascination.

    fascination. (100)

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    this layout is gorgeous! i love it!
    i like how you described the place they were at and the looks of the girls
    oh so they are royalty, i didn't know if princess was like an analogy instead of a literal sense
    i'm guessing there is trouble.. uh oh.....
    whoa, they took the baby D:?! that's terrible!
    i get now why the three are three different social statuses now
    this is a cool idea :) good first chapter.
    July 6th, 2011 at 08:38pm
  • jewelia.

    jewelia. (2225)

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    This story is very good, very original and...just...wow. I like how it's not romance, or not romance immediately. The layout goes well with the story, and I love the plot.

    It's also very realistic(: I'll definitely subscribe and read more of this. Keep it up!
    July 6th, 2011 at 04:35pm
  • searchingshells'

    searchingshells' (100)

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    This story is very different to anything that I have read before on Mibba, it's original.
    I love how you have describe completely everything, even the colour of the walls!
    You make the people sound perfect and not fake. This is definitely a good view of royalty!

    I think that the layout goes well with the story plot and well done!
    July 6th, 2011 at 02:32am
  • nefarious

    nefarious (100)

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    The story is quite...interesting. I haven't read much of stories in this time. I do not like the female character in the second chapter. Not because of how it was written..I just don't like the character. Once again, you are very good with describing things. It's like watching them happen. Usually when I see flashbacks they are in the chapter with other things, but it's interesting how you chose to make it it's own chapter.

    Very good so far.
    July 6th, 2011 at 01:45am
  • saint mungo.

    saint mungo. (150)

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    I'm really liking the banner at the top of the layout, but anyway, I'm liking the plotline you have here.

    Your descriptions are really good, and I really want to see how this story is going to progress, so I'll subscribe.

    Your layout makes me want to go to Disney Land...just saying.
    July 5th, 2011 at 11:10pm
  • a pretty flower.

    a pretty flower. (100)

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    I like the plot of the story, it is more original than other stories about royalty.
    Like others mentioned above you said one of the triplets were seperated but than in the chapter the maid kindapped them. I liked the way you described things because I could really imagine it but I think you should've added more dialouge to some of the chapters.
    I enjoyed reading it overall and I think this story has grand potentional. Good luck.
    July 5th, 2011 at 08:16pm
  • bellamy blake

    bellamy blake (3280)

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    First off, I've got to admit that I'm not crazy about the layout, just because any text on a black background is migraine-inducing for me to read. I also found an error in the summary: "seperated" should be spelled "separated." There's "a rat" in "separated." XD

    I'll also have to admit that his generally isn't the type of story that I would read, though I do think that the concept is unique. Like kelly of yore mentioned above, I was a little confused about the kidnapping. In the summary, it appears that all three triplets are separated, but in the first chapter, I assume that only one child was kidnapped by the maids? I would definitely work on clearing that up a bit in the writing. I feel like you do a good job of setting up the scene and using descriptions to portray the physical aspects of the characters, and I'm aware that this is only the first chapter, but I don't feel like you really got into the personality traits of the characters. So far, they all feel a bit stock to me, with the royal family being noble and whatnot and the maids being stock villains, which doesn't really sit well with me.

    Overall, I feel like this is a neat idea for a story, and I wish you luck with it.
    July 3rd, 2011 at 08:02pm
  • kelly of yore

    kelly of yore (100)

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    I like the idea and I think you really have something here. Everything, (the descriptions, the dialogue, etc.,) flows nicely and I like your choice of adjectives. I was just curious, however, of where the third girl is. In the long description, it says there are triplets but in the first chapter, it says there are only two girls. Is it because one was already missing? It just confused me little bit.

    In any case, I liked the story as a whole and I'm interested as to what will happen next. :)
    July 3rd, 2011 at 07:18pm
  • xBecomingxNumbx

    xBecomingxNumbx (100)

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    I was originally going to comment on Home but I realized I had already read it lol. So I chose this story. This was a great start, your layout is lovely, your vocabulary and descriptions are wonderful, and the only error I noticed was a comma where a period should have been. This was a cute beginning and I'm curious to see where this goes. Great job so far!
    May 15th, 2011 at 11:11pm