The Dust of Everyday Life - Comments

I'm so sorry that it took me sooo long to get back to you on this swap :( I'm glad that I finally have some time to get back to people now, so onto the review. First of all, I loved the layout. Alot. It's very simple, but cool, and the picture is very nice as well (:
Spring: I really, really love how you describe everything here - especially how The roses were on her cheeks and the sun left paint on her skin. I think that's perfect. I like how the narrator - I can't be sure if it's a guy or girl; I guess it can go both ways, right? - is observing her from far away and how they're almost a bit shy when they talk to her. It adds something to this story that I can't describe, but I love it.
Summer: Omfg, I can so relate to this chapter now xD Just one more weeeeek~ Yeah, lol. Seriously speaking, though, you've got all of these crazy hyped emotions down pat - how everyone is trying to get into their dream college, how happy they all feel at getting out of high (hell) school. This chapter was lovely and possibly my favorite (:
Fall: I love how the main character is comparing all of the other girls to the girl that he met in high school. I can't even describe how much I love this; he's thinking about her, he misses her, he can't get her out of his mind. Just...it's beautiful.
Winter: Maybe it's my stupid mind at work or something, but I expected something awful to happen to the girl and the narrator is devastated. Yeah, like I said, it's my stupid mind at work >.> Anyways, oh. Wait. I was right. o.O fkdjsadkljfdsalkjf THAT'S SO BLOODY SADDDD D: So. The narrator was thinking about her at college all this time, thinking that she was alive and everything and how he misses her, but she was really dead all of this time? Omg. That's so...sadly perfect. I dunno, omfg. I've never had a story affect me this way, but I'm SPEECHLESS. Wow.

And the epilogue. Wow. WOW. I love it. Really, this needs more comments and love. Seriously, this is amazing. Brilliant, brilliant job <3

wow... that was just amazing. the descriptions were SO vivid and beautiful, the way you write is really poetic. it was so sad... and you captured it beautifully. and in such a short story, too! im sry, im rambling, but that was a REALLY good story...

What an awesome ending!! I really like how you chose the letter to end it. Great work!

Such a beautiful and sad story. Very well written - :sniff: thanks for the lovely story!

Wow.. I've read everything. I-LOVE-IT!! Gosh, it's sad, but so amazing!

*gasp*
Talk about unexpected;
Can't wait for the epilogue! :D

I LOVED the Dust of Everyday Life. Your sentences were all beautifully made, I especially liked your elegant descriptions. I loved how you didn't spell everything out for the reader, only just enough. It was a very thought provoking beautifully written work, can't wait for the Epilogue :D

Beautiful(: His sadness is so tangible &, well, sad;
The way you write & use description is wonderful(:
I can't wait for the last chapter :D

Okay, a blackout happened and I needed to retype my review, so forgive me if it's not as good.

/The leaves were green and blooming, and so was she. The roses were on her cheeks and the sun left paint on her skin./ I fell in love with the first sentence. Your imagery is stunning, you paint pictures so well, and the way you made leaves bloom, instead of flowers...

/that made her look beautiful, yes, but out of place./ I love how you put downsides on her beauty.

/she would be too busy being the sunshine./ The way you used the word "being" was just phenomenal. So simple, so elegant, so concise. I absolutely love your descriptions.

/a small pathetic purple wave calling out to a red wave/ This is fantastic for one main reason. I've never ever seen a comparison like this anywhere, and it wasn't about sunshine or flowers, but it still fit with the repertoire of the piece.

/Life has an all-too-lenient return policy./ I love how you related this tidbit to romance. It's so smooth-flowing.

/She would say, "This is a good angle."

It made me feel like I had just painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel./ It's so simple, and that's what's so stunning about it. Their interactions are so few in between, but you made them seem like wedding vows. It's just a breath in a story, but you made the words sing.

/Her enemies, for having a stronger bond with her than I did, even if it was negative./ This was so indicative of how badly he wanted her, the way some people would rather fight with the people they love than not talk at all.

/The weather set fire to the air, and to us./ I am absolutely besotted with your opening lines. They aren't big words, not uncommon ones, but the way you arrange them makes them your own, and so wonderful.

/Jessie got into Yale, I heard. And Patrick is going to Emory. Taylor didn't get into Harvard, like we all thought he would. He's going to Ohio State, full scholarship. I heard he had a panic attack when he got the rejection letter.

I looked down at my half-assed calculus notes and wondered what it was like to be successful and motivated./ It's so good because it's so relatable. Lots of people trade in that highlight of their writing for pretty descriptions, but your balance is delicate, just right.

/"I'll find you."

I knew she wasn't serious. Everyday of my life, I wish she was./ I wish I could write more concrit, less gushing, but I seriously had nothing bad to say. So freaking perfect.

"College man" is such an adorable nickname, haha.

/Unfortunately, those were the best things I ever learned./ Your ending lines are nothing short of gorgeous too.

/The girls here are alright./ It's so calm. So relaxed, easy. He's not degrading those who don't compare to her; he's simply saying they aren't for him. That made me like him more.

/She used to sit on a piano in my dreams./ That already painted a picture even if you didn't elaborate.

Her absence in chapter three is so palpable. All in all, I'm in awe.

This is so beautifully written so far and I can't wait to read the last and final chapter. I love the point of view you write from and I love that you don't reveal her name. It's so well put together and so wonderfully described. The layout is also really simple and pretty. <3

Whoa, I'm seriously jealous of your writing skills.

The detail was beautiful, nothing more or less :)

I love the layout, it's simple and I couldn't find any major grammar mistakes that bother me to no end. I love where this story is heading and I do wish to read more, so I'm going to sub and comment some more :)

Seriously, did you take a writing class??

Perfectly beautifully written!
Though i do feel there is something missing. I think you could go deeper into the plot, maby try to lenghten the actions. :)

This was such beautifully written material. It sounds like the character is totally in LOVE, & it's so sweet the way you put sentences together. I especially liked this line:
"And when I would try to catch her eye, she would be too busy being the sunshine." Aww(: <33
So, I will be subscribing(: Keep up the good work! :D

Actually, when I clicked the title, I wasn't expecting what you wrote. My gosh, it's great! I was drawn in by the first few sentences. I like how you didn't use clich'e lines and it was obvious you put A LOT of thought into it. You write very well and I can't wait to read your other chapters.