Tonight I danced - Comments

This was amazingly written. A broken heart is definitely not easy to mend when a future has been planned out and the one who has your heart has been killed. I don't think she is whiney though because seven months is a very short grieving time. It took me a year to be able to visit my sisters grave and that was still the hardest thing I had ever done. I like how you show that slowly she's making progress with her sadness. Its very good (:

Wow, this was deep. I have to say that Part of me, a very important part, died with you. was the best part of the story. I mean, it was simply amazing. I liked that it didn't focus on the fact that she was a girl so much, so even if a guy reads this he can easily feel a connection to it.

I sure felt a connection with the story. I never lost a lover, but I did lose my father and I know how hard it is. So, this story kind of felt like home to me. Thanks for writing this because it kind of woke me up a little.

I have to say that your grammar and spelling is amazing. You pick the right words and it all sounds so professional. Again, great job. I'm gonna have to check out some of your other work.

Jeezus, this was pretty damn awesome. The first paragraph was interesting, and when the second paragraph came, it came out of left field, I was not expecting for the guy to be dead. Even when I was reading it, my mind kept going back and thinking that he was alive.

I liked the flow of it, it sounded like a monolouge to me, and that's always fun.

Just little bits of mistakes like, "I don't hurt anymore quiet so much." It should be 'quite' instead of 'quiet', but that's probably a typo.

I wish Mibba had a 'favourites' option ):

Sorry for not commenting sooner, had a lot on my hands. :( For a new type of writing your trying out it was good. Though when I realized it was a letter it seemed more like a journal to me but it sounds good as a letter still. I liked how you wrote it, it made me feel like it was completely real! Great work! Keep it up. :)

For a second I thought this was an actual letter you'd written yourself to somebody in your life!

Anyway, this was really good, and I don't think she sounds that whiny at all.