Was/Wasn't - Comments

He probably wouldn’t have been so keen on the game if I hadn’t acted like I didn’t know the rules.
^ That was my favorite line.
I loved how it was all Ryan's perspective.
So other commentors thought Ryan was in a way one of the victims.
However, I don't, Ryan was completely aware of what was happening the whole time.
I think he played the "game" better than Pete himself.
That's what makes this seem even more.....sinister?

Maybe if I had said it three or four times he might have, but that would have ruined everything. And I was playing stupid. Stupid and willing.
That part was king of sad.
It was almost as if Ryan had to di it.
Prove something to himself, to Brendon, to Pete
Plus it's one of the reasons I think he played the game best.
Yea Pete may have gotten what he wanted in the end,
But he didn't win the game.
I don't know if anyone else gets what I'm saying but I loved this so great job xD

<3
I loved it.
I agree with everything everyone said.

I’ve been meaning to comment this story for a while, but I couldn’t find words that would do it justice. Hopefully, this comment will suffice.

I like your writing style; how it's to the point and, I think this would be a fair word to describe it, blunt it is. It gives it a real feeling; it really does seem like a train of thought and how Ryan would think. People don't usually think with complicated jargon or metaphors. I fount it simple to read and grasp the language, however more complicated to comprehend because of the vagueness of the situation. But I liked that element of it; it leaves more to be imagined.

I like that you’ve developed Pete as the “evil” character. It makes it all the more easier to sympathise with Ryan, even though he’s cheating on Brendon (though I didn't pick that up until the very end); to me, the victims in this whole game are Ryan and Brendon. And that too...the way that Ryan describes the whole scenario as a game, there was something…dark about it. It makes Pete come across as apathetic towards Ryan’s feelings.

It didn’t take all that long for me to realize that the dice were ending tonight, that he was finally cashing in all his chips.
I loved the wording of that sentence; it made me think of a sleazy casino, and set the sex up to be cheap and meaningless to Pete.

The contrast between how it is with Brendon and how it is with Pete…it shows a sense of discomfort and just how strange it is to Ryan; so different to what he’s accustomed to. And the way that Pete treats him, how rough he is with him, helps to emphasise that point.

The sex in itself, how it’s described was beautifully done. It was heartbreaking, filled with such pain and regret and was realistic.

Really, I can't think of much else to say.
You already know your writing is amazing.

That was amazing
You got so much across in this story by hardly saying anything.
It never explains Ryan's relationships fully ,but yet it's like there's a whole back story to it.
I love the way you portrayed the characters in this ,the way Ryan just excepts whats happening but tries to pretend it's not and the way Pete's acting like he's in control.
And the end ,they both just pretend it never happened.Like it was just casual sex ,which it obviously wasnt.

I thought it was about time that I read something else by you, & I don't know why I picked this one,
except that I think it was above mine on the Rate the Story thread. So, lame reason, but I'm thrilled that I did. :]

I really do love your writing style.
You don't go overboard with the description, and while I admit, I actually like really intricate metaphors
and imagery with a million adjectives, your writing here was a nice change. There's something about
the way you slip in small details where they really count that makes the whole scene perfectly
believable and real. I guess most people don't think in a million adjectives; they think more like Ryan does
in this, noticing the shadows from the trees outside dancing or the bed with sheets I never would have picked out.
That line about the sheets was actually one of my favorites in this. It's such a small, small detail of
Ryan's whole experience, but at the same time it sort of sums everything up. He's in an unfamilar place, literally and
figuratively, and what's going on is just so far removed from what he's used to with Brendon that even the sheets are wrong.

I’d never been fucked like that before, haven’t been fucked like that since even though I’ve tried
to talk Brendon into it. He fucked me like . . . like . . . like he didn’t give a damn if I broke in half.
I made a little "for shame!" face when I read that, but I love it because it just makes Ryan so completely
and totally human. He didn't really enjoy what happened; it made him uncomfortable and
he wasn't really ready for it, but at the same time, it made him try to talk Brendon into doing the same
thing later on, so obviously he got something out of it. I guess it fits with the whole idea... was/wasn't.
It was okay; it wasn't okay. It was wrong; it wasn't wrong. That concept is just purely human.

Lastly, He never suspected a thing. Or maybe he did. I always get truth and lies mixed up now. It’s never what I think it is.

I thought that was a little heartbreaking.

Beautifully written, Dru.
The last time I read one of your one-shots, I was blown away, and this time too. :]
It wasn't hugely descriptive, but as I said, you still have this amazing attention to detail that makes
the reader just as empathetic, or more, as/than if you'd spent time developing metaphors for every
minute of what Ryan was going through.

Gorgeous.

That was an amazing oneshot.
And I agree with above me ^^

I knew that what he said was wrong. I knew that what he said was a lie. Or not necessarily a lie, but certainly not the truth. I knew it wasn’t the truth. But it was easier to pretend it was.

This pretty much set the atmosphere in the story. Great intro and play on words.

Third bedroom on the right. He told me the view was amazing and I needed to see it from the second story to appreciate it. We didn’t make it to the window.

There's something so blunt yet not quite with your writing style. Like, you don't use big words and fancy phrasing but something about the way you do it, the execution, is just so frighteningly fraught with emotion and it's real, it's too real and it hurts.

I looked at him through my eyelashes and he stared right back at me, scaring me. It was unnerving. I almost pulled back it scared me that much. Brendon always rolled his head back when I sucked him off, closed his eyes.

My heart nearly broke for Ryan. He was thinking of Brendon all the while, not really comparing them but missing him, but he never said a word. The ache comes from his passiveness... maybe it was like it didn't matter anymore.

Then, finally, I could breathe. He was still pushing into me, still swearing under his breath, still staring at me. Only now I was staring back.

When he came, I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to imagine I was at home and it was Brendon, trying to imagine that I hadn’t played his stupid game, trying to imagine that I wasn’t everything he thought I was/wasn’t.

The regret and the relief and the utter defeat expressed in this was just.... wow.

Like I said, frighteningly real. Almost too genuine.

He kisses me on the cheek now, whispers things in my ear when no one’s watching, when everyone’s watching. But I know now, get to act like I know at least, I always knew. But it’s not really worth it to regret, is it? Everything it was/wasn’t.

Perfect ending line.

You already know you're talented, Dru.

-

Was/Wasn't

I liked this much better than the last one I read. I just love how you write in Ryan's Point of View; it just seems to flow so naturally and pretty. You write in such a dry way, but there's so many emotions tied behind those words, that it is just amazing. I don't get how you are able to write like that, and I kind of envy your flow and style. Anyway, the story was amazing, the plot, the idea. It kind of took me a while to realize Ryan was cheating on Brendon with Pete basically. I usually don't read stories involving Pete Wentz cause I just have issues with him (half thanks to Pedo Pete in Have Kids), but I loved the way you characterized him- kind of like a faceless evil.You describe him enough so we know that he is generaly the antagonist, but not enough so we know everything about him. To me, he seemed just like he was parading Ryan around and then fucked him like he was a prize.

He fucked me like . . . like . . . like he didn’t give a damn if I broke in half. He didn’t fuck me like a doll, like I was made of glass, like I could break at any moment. He didn’t have sex with me, didn’t make love to me. He fucked me. Hard. In a house I’d never been in, on a bed with sheets I never would have picked out. All while I watched the shadows dance on the ceiling.

Hands down, probably my favorite line from you. I can't even really describe what made it sound...so beautiful. The pauses in the middle kind of showed Ryan's vulnerablity and fear. Like he was just a glass doll being broken by this man. He was being torn apart- there was no love in that action. It was just regular fucking and Ryan didn't want to be fuck. Maybe he was just naive; maybe he really doesn't know everything and doesn't know the game.

I loved it. Really. Great job!

There wasn't any dialogue in this, was there? I like that.
I like Ryan's narration.
I like the whole concept of this.
I like how you show their thoughts and feelings by their actions.
My favorite lines:

Or not necessarily a lie, but certainly not the truth. I knew it wasn't the truth. But it was easier to pretend it was.

It didn't take all that long for me to realize that the dice were ending tonight, that he was finally cashing in all his chips. Every introduction took us closer and closer to the stairs. And when we finally reached the banister he pulled out a line that I acted like I had never heard or used before.

We didn't make it to the window.

It was unnerving. I almost pulled back it scared me that much.

shadows from the trees outside dancing.

I didn't even bother to tell him I was leaving. He already knew.

New story.
Pete/Ryan. Ryan/Brendon.
Pete wants Ryan. Ryan pretends he doesn't know.
Light NC-17/Hard R.
Oneshot.

Happy reading!

xoxox
-Dru