I like the simple layout and the summary; the definitely caught my eye and got me to continue reading. One thing I really liked was how you started pretty much every paragraph with ‘Christopher Blume…” It made the story have a sort of ring to it and stayed true to the title.
Your second sentence needs to be rephrased. “He wanted them to know how it felt like to be rejected all the time.” You should either drop the ‘like’ or say, ‘He wanted them to know what it felt like to be rejected all the time.’ Also in the third paragraph it should be ‘walked alone to school.’ Finally in the fifth paragraph it should be, ‘They were too pretty.’
Overall, I thought this was a pretty humorous little story that could definitely be a great warning story to tell one’s son (:
Your second sentence needs to be rephrased. “He wanted them to know how it felt like to be rejected all the time.” You should either drop the ‘like’ or say, ‘He wanted them to know what it felt like to be rejected all the time.’ Also in the third paragraph it should be ‘walked alone to school.’ Finally in the fifth paragraph it should be, ‘They were too pretty.’
Overall, I thought this was a pretty humorous little story that could definitely be a great warning story to tell one’s son (: