270 - Comments

This is definitely interesting and I really like that you made it into one of those odd movie scenarios all dealing with money. It would've been interesting to hear why she owed the money or how she planned to get it. What exactly happened to her when her time ran out and Carl didn't show up. Very interesting. I also love the repetition of nine though I don't quite see the significance. You have 270 as the title, so possibly nine times thirty? Do mention it thirty times? Would like to know a bit more about that. Anyway, lovely piece.

Wow, this was so cool! =D

I'm just wondering why this only has only one chapter, because it would make my life if you kept adding.

This was...asdfghjkl;. Words can't even.

I fucking loved this story. It's so clean and cut. I'm quite jealous of how creative you are. I also love how you set up the atmostphere so cleanly. Clean. That should be your word. Nice job, I loved it.

I really liked the layout, it was bright but it was also neat and pretty :D

Like a few of the people said above me, I'm bad with hidden meanings. I got some of the meanings some of the time but the most I didn't get at all. >:[ But I really love your attention to detail, you include the small things that most people tend to skim over, kudos for you on that!

You're also great at building up suspense and intrigue, the way how you mention the number 'nine' so many times, it just makes the reader wonder why the eff is nine being mentioned so many times so therefore, it compels the reader into wanting more :D

Good job <3

I love this story. It has so much description, and it is soo awesome. I love the repetition of the number nine, and the mystery it represents. i wish I had some background information or something, so I knew what was going on. Lol. But definitely something I would love to keep reading.

I love this. Oh my god, seriously. I am totally in love with the whole psychology "why do people do the things they do?" type deal so when I read this and you totally awesomely incorporated that in there it was almost like a light from heaven poured down from my ceiling and onto the computer screen of your story. That is the best way I can put it.

Just the little details you give are mouth-watering and cool. How her boots are worn out. How a person would spend "nine minutes" on it, I don't know why but the exactness really got my attention. Or just in general the amount of nines in there, I don't know if that was some hidden message or something strange about nines, but it definitely caught my attention and I really liked that.

And it's true, though. When we see a pretty face we tend to dwell on it, or a drastic style, more than any generic person that walks by. I mean, I could never pull off bangs, aha. She seems almost like rocker chic, I guess. But that's totally cool.

I think what I love most is the whole noticing thing. Mostly because you keep up with it throughout the entire thing, how I most people wouldn't notice this or notice that and then your descriptions really compliment that because they do notice those things. Like his gold watch or the children with balloons or just small things like that, that get noticed because that's what the entire story is about. Just... the appearance of what's happening, no back story or anything but that's why I like it so much.

I noticed when you mentioned the men that you went from nine to eight, that was a little confusing.

CARL. YOU DICK. D:

Oh my god. Seriously. The ending was just like oh my god why is this so amazing I cannot even I love this with everything I have. It's so true though, how as people we hardly don't notice anything. We're constantly overlooking the small things even though they're pretty important, that girl's life was on the line and pretty much no one noticed. It brings up the question of what have I not noticed before, I mean, I could have almost witnessed the craziest things wouldn't actually knowing. I love that, when a story has a good... moral? to it. Yes, moral. I am not going to walk away from this story and try to notice things a little bit more.

SERIOUSLY I LOVED THIS AND YOU.
:D

If you couldn't tell, aha.

I'm bad with hidden meanings.
Especially the part about the 9's. Why nine? Why SO MANY nines?

You wrote this exceptionally well. Transition was perfect, and details and descriptions kept me on the edge of my seat, trying to figure it out. My eyes flew back to read it over again when you said there were hidden meanings but... Nothing, haha.

I really loved this. I love reading stories in second person because it makes me feel more involved. Great job.

So, I don't understand why it's called 270 when this story seems to revolve around nine. Is it because 2+7+0=9? I guess that could work. Sounds like that move 23 to me though. So, your story, however wonderful, was very repetitive which got old really quick for me. This is really good though, it was full of suspense, and I live for suspenseful stories. I like how we don't know who she's waiting for or why until the end. This was a really good story. (:

I'm really intrigued by the concept of nine. I'd like to know why it's so important and why everything seems to wrap around that number. While reading this, I definitely got a mysterious vibe going out. I do want to point out that I like the way your descriptions flow so nicely and how everything is repetitive. I think you did a wonderful job so far and I'd like to see where this goes for sure. (:

First off thanks for entering the contest it means a lot to me!

To begin I must say I really liked your story. :) Even if it's the beginning I can not wait for me. You've won yourself a subscriber. :) The whole concept was nicely played out, from beginning to end. The implements of time and numbers added into everything. You know exactly how much time she has left and how much time as passed because you've told us. This is, in the case of this style of story, very important in judging the length of the whole story. Nicely done.

"It was nine o’clock in the morning, and she had nine minutes left. Her thoughts were pouring out of her head almost palpable to bystanders. She resisted the urge to bite her nails, but if you had been noticing her you would of seen her do it nine times before."
nine nine nine nine nine! What is the meaning of nine? :D Even the title adds up to nine! I'm so in love with this concept.

You language throughout is lovely! You did a really good job (I feel like I've said this before...)

You keep the suspense going nicely. I don't know what's going to happen and I can't really even like decided in my head! There's really no set path and that's really well done :D It's a trap of confusion and need to continue to read.

It's twisted in a way. You know she's not all good, or at least you can sense it because she owes that amount of money, but you know she's not evil because she in fact didn't put up a struggle and was trying to fix the problem.

I can't wait for more. :)

I really enjoyed reading this. The title caught my attention right away, and it was really the first paragraph that pulled me in. Though not many people use it, I'm a sucker for second person if you can use it right. And you executed it perfectly. There's a very dark and mysterious tone and I love the repetition of the number nine.
Really, well done.

Oh wow.
Mi amiga, this is quite amazing, I'm not even lying.
I quite enjoy how this was written and I'm not a very big fan of second person at all. I love the layout, it's cute and how you described everything was nice. The only thing I have to say "bad" about this, and it really isn't bad at all is that between paragraphs, you might want to hit enter once more so there's a space. Having the paragraphs bunched up together makes things a big hard to read on here.
Other than that, I think this was very lovely. (: