Soulless - Comments

Great Writing !
You should totally try to get it featured on http://StoriesCity.com

I am going to stop at chapter 5 for now, but from what I have read this is just as riveting as all of your other stories that I have read. Once again you were able to make the text of this story flow just as well as the other medieval based story. That's not an easy task to do really, especially when it's not a way people speak these days. I love where this going and I shall definitely subscribe so that I may finish it hopefully sooner rather than later. I can't wait to find out what she is and who that guy is. It'll definitely be interesting that's for sure.

Though I have read a bit of this story before I'm glad to have come back to it. This idea you have started with has blossomed into something bigger. Hehe. Every time I read my name I wanted to giggle. I never have read a story with my name in it.

I enjoyed your layout and banner. It is very pretty but gives off a dark aura. Suiting the story very well. Just like the summary you gave. I loved it. Leaving the readers with questions to be answered but also short and simple. Not giving anything away.

I really liked your style of writing. Its magnificent and brilliantly written beautifully with the fear and gross factor put in there. I like your next idea for the prequel. This is fantastically well made. Keep it up. :)

Ewww! The first chapter made me cringe, just the thought of someone scrubbing their hands raw. I almost wanted to vomit it was so gross. But you write beautifully, a very clean and crisp and descriptive style. The story is very dark which means your intentions paid off.

Ewww! The first chapter made me cringe, just the thought of someone scrubbing their hands raw. I almost wanted to vomit it was so gross. But you write beautifully, a very clean and crisp and descriptive style. The story is very dark which means your intentions paid off.

Too many mistakes.

I finished the final chapter and I must say I'm excited that you're going to go back and write a prequel because I feel that there were a lot of questions left unanswered. Even a sequel to Souless would be wonderful to read! The whole idea is very brilliant and original compared to things I've read, and your writing is fantastic. Can't wait to read more :)

She died? Johnathan died? What? How does that make ANY sense?! They can't die!

Poor little baby! </3 (I won't give away his name ) And what happens to Ewen?! GAH! I'm going read the new one you FINALLY have posted <3

Reading it all in one sitting was a lot longer then I expected, but your writing is compelling. There are a few mistakes here and there but overall I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen until I was finished. I want to know more. The plot and the entire thing is intriguing from the start. I can't wait to read more :)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EWEN!!!!!!!!! ELOISE!!!!!!!!

Nope, I'm not to worried for John. XD I love and hate this chapter. I love it for the extreme load of action and suspense you gave us. However, I hate it... Well, you should know why I hate it =P

Okay, so I do not like that she got shot. She so didn't deserve that! But the second to last line made me laugh. I don't know why, but it did. I love Ewen, but I think it's funny how she thinks 'cause I think like that sometimes about others. >.>

UPDATE SOON!! (Or wait. I'm not sure which is better at the moment. I want you to update, but I'm not ready to say goodbye. D'= )

I like the summary, it’s really beautiful in a sense. The layout is a bit hard to read, but not all that bad. The picture is really pretty.

Chapter One: Seriously, the first paragraph sent shivers through my hands. It really gave me a sense of how badly she wanted to scrub whatever was on her hands away. She must have a high pain tolerance :P

I like how she didn’t realize that she was crying right away. That was neat. I also like how you said it didn’t matter to something like her. Something… That makes me curious.

Ick…her skin…poor skin. I’m not one for gruesome pictures, but you did a good job of describing the scene.

Oo! Now I want to know who this guy is. I am seriously curious. I am guessing at some point in this story she gives up her soul, based on the title. So is this after she gives up her soul?

Chapter Two: The smell of prey? What the hell is she? I kind of got the picture that she was a lizard – reptile thing when you talked about her tongue flicking out. Thought that was kind of funny.

I like how the Lord talks to the young girl as if she were only a mere child to him. I really like that.

I like how the character thinks and talks of salvation. Salvation from what? I am really curious about what she is.

You do a fantastic job of creating a hook on the end of each chapter that keeps the reader begging for more. I think this could lead to a really good story. I like it!

This is really interesting. I'm commenting because you commented on my journal (http://www.mibba.com/journals/read/244570/) about a cowrite, and looking through your stories, your style of writing really appeals to me and the perspective I think you'll bring will be really awesome.

If you're still interested, or want to talk more about the story's details and stuff, please PM me.

I apologize for how long it took me to read and comment your story but like I said in the journal, I never slack and I always leave something. I will admit I was confused at first when I read the first two chapters but after those I wasn't. This story is dark and I really like it. The imagery is great, more so than others I have read. The layout definitely fits the mood quite well and the summary is short and to the point. It makes the reader wonder what exactly is going to happen and each shapter keeps us guessing. I really like this, I'll subscribe because I intend to finish it. Nice job so far.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! WHAT?! No, no, no, it can not end in only two more short chapters!

=O I don't get it; why was I supposed to hate Ewen in this chapter? Mostly it was about Eloise talking to Johnathan. By the way, how DARE he hit her! No man should ever lay his hands on a woman in such a fashion! If you want me to like this guy, I don't think it's working. He's getting farther down my 'character love' list. XD

UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ('cause you're awesome! <3)

usually i hate this much black on a layout,
but I do actually like this one a bit :)
the banner picture is kind of irrelevant though,
so maybe change that?
why is she scrubbing so hard my gosh!
I have to say you started this off strong - which is what you need for a hook
"for something like her" I'm wondering if this means she isn't human
or she's reffering to herself out of self hatred?
im guessing now she's attempting to do this to herself,
to hurt herself. which is .. odd. especially because i don't know the reason
her skin cracked? ew, gosh the poor thing
i do like the fact that she isn't some like "poor unfortuante sould kinda girl"
it's nice to see someone right there, tryign to help her
so she isn't a human, because she mentioned something about it
i really want to nkow what she is now! haha seriously!
I have to say this was a great beginning and I really have no critique for once! haha
A++ <3

I love the recent updates! Keep it up!!!!

First of all, I'm so sorry that it took me forever to get back to you :( Things have been wayyyy too crazy for my taste. Blah. Anyways, the first thing that I notice about a story is the layout and the layout of this one is possibly the creepiest and awesomest layout I've ever seen. It definitely gives the reader a bit of a sneak peek as to what the story is about, even in the absence of a summary, which I have to say that yours gave me the major creeps, hahaha! Good creeps, I assure you. Anyways, the first chapter scared me a bit; so she's basically scrubbing her skin off? My mind totally gave me this creepy picture of a girl obsessively scrubbing her hands and blood is dripping into the sink and she's got this horrific smile on her face and I'm just totally rambling here. This is just so crazy awesome! I'm amazed by your attention to detail here - the tears, the person who's begging her to stop. It's just so... morbidly beautiful. I'm speechless O:
I'm totally subbing to this. AMAZING JOB! :D

=O The way you started the chapter was golden. I've loved the rain since forever. (I do believe I've mentioned I was a Cancer, yes? >_<) The rain is so soothing to me. It calms me and comforts me in ways I've never been able to sympathize with other beings. I've no clue as to why this is. >_>

"He jaw clenched and she thrust her chin in the air so she could look derisively down her nose at the Irishwoman."
^ He should be her and a space should be used between Irish and woman.

"There was fear, anxiety, and a dark sense of triumph that emanated from the other other."
^ You repeated the word other.

"She knew that she had to ask the question but it didn't still the dread that she could building within her and weighing heavily on her heart."
^ Shouldn't the word feel be after could?

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! The baby kicked? And I have a feeling Johnathan isn't going to be to happy--if that's him there! >_< No, no, no!! You can't leave it there!

Charlotte is a BITCH! Gosh, I hate her almost as much as John! (If not more!)

UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

I think I missed something... What did he mean by "Last time I checked, you said they would not leave"? >_>

Ahh, I love the mention of the mirror! I really liked how you gave us her image in such great detail and how you made her slap him in the end.

UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!! <3 I'm dying to see what is reaction is XD <3

Ahaha! The way you described her belly made me think of my own mother who is pregnant. It's a little creepy, though XD

I love the whole prayer thing she did. It gives me goosebumps for some reason. Like, how ancient it is and how it's been forever since she has done it.

Oooooo, Lawrence is really starting to tick me off >_< But I sorta-kinda get it.

UPDATE SOON! <3