Human - Comments

I've seen sooo many cliche vampire stories on Mibba (I'm currently writing one myself, and I surely hope it isn't deemed cliche, baha.) and this one SO isn't. I'm actually glad of it! It's so refreshing to see something not cliche floating around Meebz :D In any case, the short little summary pulled me in and didn't let me go; already a plus! I can't wait to continue reading c: Anyways, onto the review!

I like this vampire a lot (though, I can't remember his name. Either I skipped on it or you just didn't put it in for various purposes), even though he killed Alys. He still somewhat has a soul and he somewhat feels remorse for what he did. I really hope that you'd continue on writing this, because I'm extremely curious to find out what made him do what he did. Maybe add some bits about his past life here and there? o:

I greatly enjoyed reading this and I really hope you take our advice in making this a chaptered story ;D Great job! <3

I really wouldn't mind reading any more of this. Really. It goes on the growing list of original vampire stories that aren't so cliche, they've lost themselves in the chaos of mibba.

I like it, and I really hope you write a lot more, and soon. I apologise if I can't be more constructive though. My mind's not in it's right place at the moment. But good work and I envy your writing skills (=

I adore this. Like TheShadowSKill, I thought it may be a cliche vampire story, but you added a spin on it that is very interesting, and of course unique. The imagery that you use in your story in incredible, such as:

''Of course, she was too weak to free herself from his iron-like grip; no match for his inhuman strength. She struggled against him, flailing her limbs wildly in a futile attempt to escape.''

It paints a vivid image in my mind, and leaves me with the idea of a bird struggling against a feral cats grasp. The words that you've used, such as ''flailing'' and ''weak'' really relates to the metaphor of a bird, or a dove. It's the perfect view of a Vampire's prey.

I also love the section underneath the title:

''Vampire (n.) a creature in legends and horror stories, said to come out of graves at night and suck the blood of living people.''

It finalizes the manifesting idea that readers would have thought of (this story being categorized into the genre of Vampire). That certain area is just one bit that stood out for me :)

Generally, this is really good, and you should continue! I don't know why you don't have more comments on this :3

Dea x

Beautifully written! I find very few well-written vampire stories, but this was great! c:

I feel like you should make it into a story. Because I'm still left with questions. I mean why was he watching Alys for so long? Did they know each in a past life?

If you don't, you did a great job to keep me guessing c:

Wow, really?
Thanks so much for the feedback!

Wow! This totally caught me off guard. When I clicked on it, I couldnt help but thinkit would be just another cliche vampire story, but I felt like you could take this story places. <3<3<3<3<3 5 hearts from me!