Old Dirt Road - Comments

I like this a lot, and it's not because of the normal reasons I would usually like a story, however weird that sounds. I like it because it has this feeling to it, this sad nostaglic feeling that I think all of us can relate to. This feeling also has a connection to the bliss of childhood, and how it slips away. It inspires me to hold on to that bliss and innocence. <3

This is really cute. Like... like a snapshot of the little pleasures of life, in the form of best friends and a nostalgic location. I guess that's the point of picture-based drabble, haha. Anyway, it really was good. A few errors as far as the organization, but it's not distracting or anything.

And I don't know how to word what I'm trying to say... just... I guess, it's something people can relate to. It makes me think of my two best friends, and how we'd have our own little escape-area. Not as private as the road, since other people know about it too, but still. This brings back good memories.

And it's kind of bittersweet, too, which I like. The sweet friendship, which you've described wonderfully, and the bitterness of the world making things more difficult... it's excellent! Great job. :)

I completely agree with the person above me.
In fact, I fucking loved this story!
The layout was pretty, the whole thing was short and sweet, and there was a really great message tied in there. Also like the person above me said, this reminds me of some of the best friends I've had in the past. When you're really close with someone, it seems like you create some sanctuary where it's just the two of you and you can always go there when you want to get away from the world. Plus, I like how, even though the story was short, you really got to know about their friendship and how much they cared about each other. That, I guess, is one of the things I really loved about this. To me, the best friends are the ones that will stick with you till the end. :)
So yeah, basically, I loved the shit out of this.
Short, but very lovely. :)

Soooo I really liked the layout? Lol I don't agree with the person above me :P I thought it was sweet and I'm guessing those were the girls you were writing about? I learned quite a lot about te characters from that picture.
I loved this! I thought it was totally sweet and simple and reminded me of me and my best friend. We're obsessed with the river too and our have our special places we go, so I totally get where teyre coming from. I like that you didn't over power the story with the past or going too far into detail with who they are or why they're there. The whole point of the story (I felt) was their friendship and liong in te moment. I loved this!!! Really well done!

Okay, first off - the layout.

I don't really like it. It's very hard to read. The font is too small, and the background and font colors just don't mix well. I had to strain to read it. Adjust the layout a bit?

Next.

Dressed in their swimsuit tops and short jean shorts two girls layed in the middle of the road. A road that never saw any cars. An abandoned, dusty, dirt road.

After shorts, before two, there needs to be a comma. I really love this beginning, though. It was very attractive, nicely written. Mysterious.

They were best friends and had been for years. Actually, for as long as they could even remember.

Okay, this is still alright. I like how you're adding depth to the friendship, saying that neither could recall when exactly it began.

The friends had come from the river just to the left of the old dirt road. It had been their favorite place to hang out since they were kids. No one else knew about it, so they would always be alone. They loved each other's friendship very much.

This is where things became bumpy. Suddenly this story took a turn away from the dirt road, which I thought was the main focus, and to this river that just kinda popped up. Plus, the last sentence ("They loved each other's friendship very much") had absolutely nothing to do with this section. It confused me, really, how we went from talking about a road to a river, then to the two kids again.

The river and dirt road had been the place they went when they were sad, happy, mad or heart broken. It was a place for them to dream about their futures. One day they would tell their kids about the road.

The river and the road again...at this point, I grew frustrated. I wanted to know who these kids were. At least how they found this place. I mean, it had to start somewhere.

On this specific occasion they were there to reminisce. They were quickly finding out how much harder life gets the older you are. They just wanted to be kids again, back on that old dirt road.

Okay, now we're back to present again. Another reason I grew frustrated is because you were throwing us between river and road, past and present. Plus, it was sort of rushed. You kinda just through it all together after the first section, really.

You used "they" too much as well. After the first section, you kinda just rumbled downhill. You should have extended it, and added more detail. I was a little disappointed at how it ended.

I really like the concept of this story, and the first sentence drew me in but I don't think the rest of the story developed as well as it could have. It was too short, at times I felt like I was reading, like, a plan for a larger story. I think this could be really good if you extended it. I want to know about who these girls are and more details about their relationship and how they came across the dirt road. I also think you used the world "they" too many times. I can understand that you might have been trying to make it like the two girls were almost one person but it got a bit redundant. Maybe if you found some other ways of saying "they".
But yeah, it started really well, but I think I'd have enjoyed it more if it were longer and fleshed out.