I Won't See You Tonight - Comments

Awesome job on this. I love how you wrote this because when I read it, it was like I was feeling every emotion he was feeling. :)

I liked it when he started to say the lyrics- though it dd have the effect of making it less sombre for me because my brain then on insisted in Reading everything else like a song.
The layout is simple and effective- applied correctly for the theme,
and you've done a good job at capturing grief
well done (:

I really liked this story. I think I actually read it before and I forgot to comment! :o
Anyways. This story is just full of emotion. Especially the part where Jimmy yells the lyrics to I Won't See You Tonight. That part just hit me. I've never lost a best friend or anything, so it made me wonder and realize that losing someone that close is a really hard thing. :(
I think this story is one of my favorites on this site. It's also one of the couple that actually made me kinda tear up. Great job at that, aha.
Overall, it's an awesome oneshot!

This definitely pulled me in, and the raw emotion in it was just....it was palpable. I started tearing up because the emotion was so real and intense, and I was thoroughly pulled in to the emotion and how Jimmy was feeling. Great job!

You really pulled the reader in. This was really good entry. I loved the ending of it especially. It made me tear up!

This is beautiful and amazing and sad and mind-blowing.
You're an amazing writer.

This is really great. Its just filled with emotion, and the way you describe things make it very realistic. I love it, and I'm not usually a fan of Fan Fics.

This entire chapter is full of alot of raw emotion.
It's presented in such a caring, compassionate way that you actually feel it along with the characters.

And the nightmare sequence was very raw and touching. You can see how much he cares about his friend from that sequence.

Great job. =)
I'd definitely read this the next time you update.

I forgot to mention something. (:
I liked how you put the title into the story, especially at the end. It was so fitting for the end of the chapter.

That entire chapter just made me want to cry. I felt so bad for Jimmy while I was reading that. It was good, but so sad. The story seems so easy to relate to even though I haven't gone through much stuff like that. I liked how supportive his girlfriend was and I just liked...everything about that chapter.

It's really good and I cant wait to read more.
Also, I love the picture for the banner. (:

To start off with: WOW.
Hahaha, that was pretty much my initial reaction while reading this. I mean, I think you're a terrific writer as is, but there was something about this that just really spoke to me.
Perhaps a lot of it has to do with the concept of losing someone, considering we've all felt that at least once in our lives. Ironically enough, I felt a lot of these emotions after Jimmy died, feeling angry and confused, thinking it was too surreal, that it was all just some fucked up dream. I actually went through that whole thing of wishing it could have been me instead of Jimmy.
So yeah, the point I'm trying to make here is that this was just soooo damn realistic. Honestly, dear, you described everything perfectly.
And it was really sad/freaky how he could see Jason shooting himself and also his face in the mirror!
But of course, I'm glad Jimmy was able to find some solace at the end. Obviously, the pain of losing someone is a hard thing to escape, but he was at least able to realize that there's such a thing as life after death, and that we all get to be reunited with our loved ones in the end.
Over all, I thought this story was really touching, as well as brilliant, creative, and very well-written.
You did an amazing job, dear. :)<3

Jimmy had spent the past forty-eight hours shut in his room alone. Forty-eight hours ago he found out that one of his best friends, Jason, had just killed himself.
Oh hot damn, what a way to start off a story. It’s really dramatic and catchy. The first few sentences are the most important, and you pulled it off quite well. So much information is already given. The main character, what he’s been doing (which shows what kind of person he’s like, how he’s feeling, et cetra), relationships and so on—which is all important. Good job.

"Come back to me!" Jimmy shouted into the air. "This is inconceivable!"
Bring on the pure, raw emotion. It was rather tragic the paragraphs afterwards—mostly his dialogue. Leana’s actions where rather powerful as well. She knew that he needed to get the emotion out, however her heading to another room seems like she has a speck in her that she doesn’t care, but that just me, because she does go back and is rather understanding.

And the dream? Well, at least he said good-bye right? And when he saw Jason’s face in the mirror; reminded me of when Macbeth saw Benquo’s ghost, though that was his own fault, it seems Jimmy’s some other kind of crazy. I liked how you added that, because honestly, I felt like the woe me went on for a tad bit too long; I started to lose my focus.

In the end I was glad that he was able to realize that life moves on, though it came in a rather anti-climatic way. Just a night out at the bar is all it takes? Well, I guess it’s the realistic approach. All-in-all it was a pleasant read.