April 15th, 2008 at 12:28am
I can never thank you enough for that review. ily :arms: When the Black Bird Sings - Comments
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^ I can never thank you enough for that review. ily :arms: April 13th, 2008 at 11:58pm
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God, you're amazing.
Favourite chapter so far.
The imagery was so flawless.
You established this very cheery, musical kind of tone - I could picture music note and rainbows dancing through the air. :shifty
Yeah, lame, but I don't know, it's just what comes to mind,
Pure optimism.
It made me happy. :]]]
But every day I close my eyes and see – no, feel – a rainbow shaped by the music surging through my mind stretch out. And somewhere there’s a source of light and rays of melted gold filters through that rainbow, cascading into my heart and soul. It splashes out in a jigsaw pattern inside my head, every nuance in those songs included in the dash.
:cheese: Now really.
How do you do that?
You and your talent...
frostbitten eyes and stale conversations. I liked that too.
This whole piece was so [appropriately] musical.
It actually reminded me a lot of the song Salty Eyes by The Matches.
It reallyreally did.
Yeah, I think that's a good way to describe your style - musical.
Just exquisitely, wonderfully musical.
iBelong. Very, very clever. :tehe:
And what an great way to end it.
God, I'm actually smiling like a big idiot now.
Thank you, dear. :]]]April 13th, 2008 at 10:36pm -
^Not at all, dear. And you didn't come off as a bitch. :arms:
Thank you all for commenting. You know I <3 you. March 30th, 2008 at 08:52pm -
Yes my comment will suck compared to everyone else's,
but oh well you love me and I'm wicked awesome so I can get away with it. Excuse the narcissism :file:
You parade around with the sun on a string – your very own brightly burning balloon. Like a child, a little child, when you smile. I have a hard time telling which shine more, the glowing orb or your eyes.
My favirote part, it like just struck me so hard. It's such a beautiful
description and a part of me feels happy that I may one of the few(if not only)
that may actually understand it. :tehe:
Now I suck at comments, so I was just gonna give you one of the ever popular "OmG I luvs it!1!" but then I remembered this isn't a Frerard. Oh yeah, I went there. :file:
So I will say I do love it, a lot and reading this only gets me more excited for
your upcoming stories. This really does leave me speechless maybe
one day I will be able to give you a proper comment. :arms:
Edit// I just realized that this comment kind of makes
me sound kind of like a bitch. :|March 30th, 2008 at 08:15pm -
^Ditto. This is beautiful. Why is the name of all that is holy has it not got more comments?
'Mkay, so it's obviously very personal so I'm not going to give you some in-depth interpretation into the feelings and emotions behind the words, because I'll just embarrass myself with a load of crappy analogies.
But. You are such a wonderful writer.
I can't explain exactly why, but I adored that part about poetry in the first one-shot:
Because you don't really get my poetry, and who can blame you? It's nonsense driven babble. It’s a jumble of pretty, pretty words. And you read too little or too much into every single one of those words. How then are you suppose to see the pattern?
Even though these stories come across as pure emotion without a clear-cut plot and storyline [definitely not a bad thing in this case], your descriptive writing and imagery is wonderful. Seriously:
But you’re not listening right now. You have shrouded yourself in apathy again, wrapped it around you like a blanket. Doesn’t get rid of those spinning thoughts though, now does it? It doesn’t sooth that jerking, thumping lump caged behind creaking ribs fragile enough to break at very next inhale exhale. It doesn’t reduce the read-hot scalding your neck from a protesting spine biting into skin, nerves and ligaments. It does nothing but slide across your eyes like an extra pair of eyelids, blinding you and helping you pretend.
:cheese:
I know that was a super-long paragraph to quote, but I really couldn't leave any of it out. Perfection.
They opened a Pandora’s Box somewhere inside, spilling fear and confusion and doubt into your system. It crawls like cockroaches through narrow blood vessels, making them ache. It slithers like twisting turning snakes inside your belly.
That image actually made me :shock: a whole lot. Pandora's Box, cockroaches, blood vessels, snakes.... damn. Shivers, much? It made me imagine this box full of dark, slimy, slithering things.
And I’ll never let them down. They don’t need the truth. My soul is like a painting that’s all cracked and peeling. But they don’t have to know about the damage. Because I want them to have a refuge. Even if that means to keep up a façade. It might seem bad. Deceiver, hoax, fraud, fake. It has crossed my mind as well.
Psychology seems to be your forte in writing, m'dear. You portray your thought processes so clearly, and I'm eternally jealous because that's something that I can never really pull off properly.
I feel sort of guilty for giving you such crappy feedback since you always give me such useful reviews, but it seems that this comment is just me quoting back big chunks of stuff, so I'm going to end it now. You are fantabulous. :]]]]
<3March 19th, 2008 at 06:32pm -
[I'm not posting the comment just because of this, I wanted to comment after reading the first chapter, but just let me tell you why I'm commenting now]
I haven't written poetry in almost two year, the moment I finished junior high my poetry muse died off and I started writing only prose. Around November last year however I had to write a short poem for school, it turned out so bad [it is so bad I'm almost ashamed of it] that I forgot about it soon after. Today however after reading your new chapter [since I'm subscribed to your story] I had to look up some old papers and I bumped into it. Strangely enough it was about birds, blacken birds. There was this bit that went like this
Birds blacken bysadness love
Take me up up up into the sky
To horizons lit with soulless white light.
And as crappy as that might sound [take into consideration that it was written ages ago and not in English] it felt like a sign and it felt like your story.
Black birds have always been symbols of death, misery and just destruction. But birds that got blacken by love can be symbols of love, too. You paint the picture of a young girl who's not only blacken by love but also by confusion, anger, fear and so many different hidden feelings. However, in the end, you're only left with the love. You can sense the wonderful feelings between the lines, it's not just useless self hate and it's not just blank fear, it's fear for self and fear for others [the second person is lovely with that]. I crossed out sadness and put love, but you don't even need to do so because you can feel the love in your story.
This story is for everyone to read not only for those who might give a crap, for everyone who ever got carried away by birds blacken by love.
That was my long and complicated way of saying that I really liked the story.February 18th, 2008 at 08:49pm
That was so beautiful.
Honestly it almost made me cry.
Those songs, the songs that are home.
It's hard to choose which part was my favorite but
this one sentence really sums everything up so perfectly
and it's so true.
And you can't even imagine the huge smile
I got when I read the end. :tehe:
Thank you, ily. :arms: