Mob Rules. - Comments

The layout in wonderful, although a little too bright? Perhaps my computer screen contributes but I felt somewhat like my eyes were being burned out of their sockets when reading it. :3

Ah, that summary was incredible. I love summaries that rely almost entirely on dialogue, mainly because I adore powerful dialogue. And it's also incredibly realistic to how I perceive Gerard and Frank to act when there's an ongoing joke between the two. Ahaha.

This entire thing made me ridiculously happy. I'll quickly set this straight, I'm not a fan of Frerard on a normal everyday basis, but this just gave me a new appreciation for what it could be. You have a habit of making me fall for this slash pairing thing, Kaitlyn. It's entirely unfair and I think we're going to need to settle this. Soon. This was totally an unwritten slash.

The change in atmosphere was just so sharp, it just- wow. I was still giggling away stupidly at their antics ['both them giggling like the stoned maniacs they are' bwahaha] and then, all of a sudden, Gerard's clutching Frank and his dad is a complete badass. You got me. I fell to my knees at your feet after reading that. Metaphorically of course. :snob.

Sweet jesus, and it just got more and more intense. This is easily the best bit of My Chemical Romance related fanfiction I've ever read, and coming from me -not to sound egotistical- I'd consider that a fairly high paying compliment. I just- this just- wow. You've actually knocked me speechless now. I don't actually know what there is to say. The question 'what about Mikey?' just occurred to me but I'm just searching for something to say. Wow.

There was so much about this one-shot I adored but it foremost it was interaction you write between the two. After all your glorious eleven/rory drabbles, I thought you were an expert at that kind of thing. Now, you're pretty much the equivalent to a God of sorts.

I loved this unexplainable amounts, Kaitlyn. Really, good job. Ugh, good job!

No words, nothing can describe this! It's fantastic! Update sometime! :3

Damn you're good! I love mob stories and this one definitely tops the list. :D Well done!

That was-
I can't even explain how much I just-
I loved it!
I don't know what you were talking about...
You're writing was wonderful and everything was just so eery and perfect!
So, I liked it alot... I think I'll go raid your stories now... Kbye ^*^

This is fantastic!

The layout fits wonderfully; it's very easy easy on the eyes, a good colour (fits in with the bloody demise of Henry) and the banner is lovely! The summary is very intriging and I like how it makes me want to click onto the chapter without giving much details. It made me think the story was going in a completely different direction to how it actually went, so the summary helped set up a nice twist.

I love how the story goes from very light-hearted, with Gerard and Frank causing mayhem at night, to being filled with tension as they run from the cops and then to the horror of finding the truth of Gerard's father. Everything flowed together wonderfully.

The interaction between Gerard and Frank at the start was great. I love stories that have friends who bicker. I esspessially liked the lines "Swear on my mother's honor! He's in the fucking mob man! You know, cement shoes, horse's heads-"
"Yeah yeah, sleeping with the fishes, all that shit. Maybe in your dreams Gerard."
These injected a bit of humour into the story, which I enjoyed, and I liked how you misled me by portraying Gerard as being a little crazy.

The move from a light-heartedness to a more serious tone was very well exucuted. I liked how you continued to portray them as being high instead of forgetting about it, and the whole bit about Frank losing his wind and struggling to breath after tripping is very realistic. You've really managed to cature the building tension as the police arrive.

they both know what the distinctive
I think the 'what' should be 'that'.

Just in front of them, a light flares and, against their own free will, Gerard and Frank press one eye each up against the crack in the wall that the light is coming through. I like how both Frank and Gerard feel compelled to look, desperatly curious despite the things they're hearing. I think it's something a lot of people would do in similar situations. I also like how both are almost paralysed due to fear, and how Gerard isn't even aware that he's crying.

When they hear the sirens coming down the street, they start running again.
I thought this line worked well; it's almost like a return to reality.

The aftermath of the whole incident is written extremely well. In one paragraph, you've managed to show how horribly shaken up they are about it, and how Frank is still terrified about being near the Way household. I was thinking that things would be okay, up until the twist at at end, with He looks an awful lot like Frank. Wasn't expecting that.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this piece. You handled the changes in pace and tony extremely well, and I love the open-ended ending, that fits very well with the rest of the story.