Aquaphobia - Comments

Such a simple yet incredibly amazing drabble.

All I have to say about this story is that this was good and I enjoyed myself.

I really like the way you write in second person, it makes the reader connect so much with your characters.

I love how you've captured his fear and made it sound a bit depressing. I mean that in a good way, though. Like, he's upset that he can't bring himself to join his friends, yet this feeling is soon overruled by his terror. I could really relate to this, as I feel the exact same way.

Your sentence structure towards the end is lovely. The short sentences seem to be accusing the character, as they are blunt and very to the point. I really love that you chose to do that, as it is a really nice way to end the piece.

I really loved this.

Oi, bby, this was fantastic. Firstly, the dull, muted colors of the layout are really appealing to me & it's all clean-cut & pretty. The drabble itself was so good, dear- I loved it. I can relate to it a lot; I used to be terrified of water, but more the jumping into it because even then I could swim & do it pretty well. It took so long to get over it. Anyway, the second person narration was a really great choice for this- made it sound like the guy on the dock was being accused, in a way, because of his irrational fear. I mean, he knew that the monsters didn't exist but still saw them waiting under the water. However, I'm glad he didn't jump in- it added even more realism to this. Also, the fact that thos wasn't even a hundred words is amazing. Just damn, Rowen. Damn.

Oh I really do like this, it's like a double take. It’s not the water, it’s you, on such a topic as water, I think you made a great drabble for it. It's not boring, and it's not too extravagant. Also, I like the second person point of view, I haven't seen one in a while here. Great piece :')

So beautiful and simple. So short, yet it displays so much emotion. You're an amazing writer.

I love the second person because it's so unconventional and rarely makes good stories (rather cookbooks). You did a brilliant job, I like it. It's very simple, not encrypted and that leaves even more room to wonder and form your own opinions about it. Well done.

This was really great (: Drabbles seem really hard to fit all your ideas into such a short amount of words, but you did it, and executed it lovely. I'm entered in the same contest, but best of luck to you :D

Ookay first I wanna say thank you for commenting on my drabble! So here I am, commenting on one of yours. (:

I really like the clean simple layout. I think it's clearness and simplicity kind of reflects the clearness and simplicity of the water in the picture. I love how you made this 2nd person, that's quite hard to do and you pulled it off. It's very powerful and to convey that strong emotion of fear in less than 200 words is fantabulous. I think you also portrayed that kind of debate that goes on in your head when you have an irrational fear really well - like, the monsters are so there but they're not there. I thought you did that really well (: Nice job.

short and sweet :)
i really liked this. i havent read too many drabbles before, but i really liked the emotion you conveyed in so few words!
thank you for entering and getting your entry in so quickly. good luck.