Nope no offense taken. I didn't know how to end it. I wanted them to end up together but I didn't wan the corny ending. I suck at anything that comes to grammer I'm always getting yelled at for it sorry.
July 5th, 2011 at 10:48pm
I really liked this =]
I don't normally read femmeslashes but this was really cute <3
Good
* In the first paragraph it felt like she was talking to me, personally
* The bit where you go on about how's she's the girl you call when you need a true friend
* The paragraphing -- maybe weird but it's true XD
* The two chapters being different events not just two separate parts in the same chapter
* Addie isn't one of those dim-wits that can not tell when someone is flirting with them (those people piss me off, big style)
* Your general spelling was imactulate (better then mine as you can tell)
* Mark. (What more is there to say)
* The way Lexi shows her possessiveness - the anger at Addie's poor self confidence.
* Your use of the lyric
* Your use of dynamics (the whisper when she asks if she's cheating)
Bad
* Your punctuation when it came to commas was poor.
* The ending sucked </3 (to be frank)
Overall, thought it was a great little story with a couple of things that need to be edited <3
I hoped it helped and that's what I'm trying to do please don't take offense by my comment or by my lame English humor.
