Afterdeath - Comments

I've beyond sorry that it took me so long to get back to you :( Things have been too crazy around here. Anyways, I'm glad I got some time to get back to everyone. First of all, I have to say; this layout is absolutely lovely. It's simple and very pretty (:

Chapter 1: I love how the main character observes Ava from afar, almost, but they are sisters, so it makes it that much more amazing. It's so sad what happened to her sister. I'm very curious to know what's going to go on later in the story (: I'm hooked! <3

Chapter 2: Ava is definitely a cool character that I'm liking. Just by the description that Ava is sorta giving, I hate her mum. She seems like an egotistical, tyrannical bitch. :| I hate parents who are like that; and I hate even more parents that forget to pick up their own children from school. Anyways, Graham is a loser and he's just plain weird and sorta reminds me of a friend of mine, lol! I find what Graham did was kinda reckless, putting his friend in danger like that :/ I'm glad that she managed to drive off, though. This was an amazing chapter! <3

Okay, so I don't have time to read the next chapter, but I'm definitely subbing to this and will come back to read it later on. Amazing job! <3

It's still really, really good! I wonder what happened to Ava...? Why didn't she answer? What did Graham do anyway and why would he be okay if he went to the party?... Hmm.... Questions. Can't wait for more! :D

I adore the sister-love going on here, mostly because I have two older sisters of my own. Your first chapter made me curious to know what exactly happened to Ava's sister, so, for that, I'm subscribing.

It's great too that you made Ava smoke; and not paint her as this sort of perfect little victiim. Kudos for that, mate :)

Anywhooz, the only question I have is about your banner, because your layout pwns, Uhm, clocks? I get the death and its' relationship to time thing, but are the clocks in your banner supposed to suggest something about Ava's time running out or her sister's time having already run out?

Hey,

I absolutely LOVE the preface. It's so sad how her family took down all of her pictures and forgot her. Graham is such a freaking idiot, LOL. That was really good. I love your writing style.I didn't see one single mistake, so that part's covered. To be honest I usually don't read rated R stories, but this is really good. I'm excited to see where this ends up.

<3,

lights.out

I only read the prolouge because I'm getting off sooon, but oh my god, wow! One prolouge held so much description and purpose! It made me want to see how the girl died, what would happen to Ava and how terrible her parents really are. You're very talented! I didn't see a single mistake! terrific job!

Herthis sounds like a great story so far. I love the idea, a dead sister helping a alive one whos in danger. I loved the preface. It was short and meanful (i cant stand long prefaces). The. Layout. Was. Beautiful.

This is such and interesting concept and the prologue really drew me in right away. I haven't read many stories dealing with ghosts/spirits/angels, but I'm looking forward to reading more of this.
You gave the background information in a very clear way without totally dumping it on the reader, which was awesome. I can't wait to read more, seriously. :D

Ooh! This sounds very promising. I like your writing style a lot and I'm itching to know what happens next. I hope you write more in this soon! :D I'll be able to give you some better comments once the story really sets in too, in case that's any incentive. ;)