I have two favorite parts. First of all, I loved how you described everything around the party as black while the yacht was full of vibrant color. It really showed the excitement and show-off-ness (like that's a word XD) of the party beautifully. I especially loved these lines: "The sky is black. The ocean is black. And most of these hearts have some black." Just perfect.
My second favorite part was when we were first introduced to Candice, and you describe her like this: "Her yellow cup might hold juice, might hold beer, maybe something as simple as water. I don’t know though. I just know that everyone else has red cups, so where’d the yellow come from? I guess from her magic." For me, that showed her individuality and an almost dreamlike quality, like she is somehow above the others. I loved it. :]
Lastly, I liked how you made Scott puke at the end. XD It emphasized how he doesn't really fit in on the yacht and it was cute how Candice accepted him anyway.
You are a really talented writer and I will definatley be reading more of your work. :)
I have two favorite parts. First of all, I loved how you described everything around the party as black while the yacht was full of vibrant color. It really showed the excitement and show-off-ness (like that's a word XD) of the party beautifully. I especially loved these lines: "The sky is black. The ocean is black. And most of these hearts have some black." Just perfect.
My second favorite part was when we were first introduced to Candice, and you describe her like this: "Her yellow cup might hold juice, might hold beer, maybe something as simple as water. I don’t know though. I just know that everyone else has red cups, so where’d the yellow come from? I guess from her magic." For me, that showed her individuality and an almost dreamlike quality, like she is somehow above the others. I loved it. :]
Lastly, I liked how you made Scott puke at the end. XD It emphasized how he doesn't really fit in on the yacht and it was cute how Candice accepted him anyway.
You are a really talented writer and I will definatley be reading more of your work. :)