The Two Sides of Black Blood in the Dark - Comments

I think all I can say is wow o.o I feel like I just read a scene from law and order SVU or something o.o Extremely well written and fascinating, twisted of course, but interesting. Makes me wonder more about "Sing For Me, Pretty" haha

I likey

Didn't see the multi personalities coming tbh, my first thought was that he was on the phone! But hey, it was a great story! I'm glad Frank got away alive, and I felt strangely satisfied by Frank's revenge at the end. You're a great writer! :D

This is amazingly good. Very dark, very graphic, and very twisted!!! Good luck with the novel.

Ya know, this sounds like something the monster in my head would generate. I really loved the multiple personalities in Gerard, and especially out of all things with the contradicting 'people', the use of needles.

The writing and grammar are strong, so nothing to say on that except for a little fluffed up suggestion to keep writing.

As for a part in the story I really just adored, it was the last segment in it's whole. How it starts so in Frank's head, then ends off on an action with no bothering to tell about it. It's nice to know that there's writers who know when its the right time to put down the pen instead of feeling pressured to keep writing.

(And just a little thing you mind want to know: I almost NEVER give nice comments. I'm always the first one to read people and tear them apart on their stories. So take the respect you're being given.)

Ya know, this sounds like something the monster in my head would generate. I really loved the multiple personalities in Gerard, and especially out of all things with the contradicting 'people', the use of needles.

The writing and grammar are strong, so nothing to say on that except for a little fluffed up suggestion to keep writing.

As for a part in the story I really just adored, it was the last segment in it's whole. How it starts so in Frank's head, then ends off on an action with no bothering to tell about it. It's nice to know that there's writers who know when its the right time to put down the pen instead of feeling pressured to keep writing.

(And just a little thing you mind want to know: I almost NEVER give nice comments. I'm always the first one to read people and tear them apart on their stories. So take the respect you're being given.)

And I do have to ask- what was shoved up Frank's ass? That didn't sound like an ordinary dildo, haha.

All right, that was pretty sick, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be, so I got through it a-okay!

I think my favorite part was the transitioning between the different Gerard's and I definitely loved the very end where Frank asks for the 'other' one before he kills him so he can watch the brutal, sick side of Gerard die instead of the man who tried to care for him.

I'm not big on Frerard, but I did enjoy this. Call me sadistic, call me what you will, but I liked it. =D

You should try writing a full-length story sometime. Use the same basic plot as you have for your one-shots, but extend it and make it more complicated. Challenge yourself ;)

--Billie

This isn't something that I would usually read, and I can't even remember now how I came across it, but I can't leave without commenting - because I know what it's like to put effort into something and not get feedback.

I think this was very well executed, and it was a great idea in general. I specifically liked the ending, because I always like to see the victim get their justice in one form or another.

I felt bad for Gerard, suffering with his two personalities. But I loved when he said to Frank, something along the lines of, "Fight yourself, just like I have to..." It really made me think about why Gerard was doing what he was, and I think it was genius.

Anyway, great work. =)

xoxo
HJ.

I don't care how awful of a person this makes me, but I really, really, really liked the whole concept of this story. The sick , twisted ones are the ones that I find oddly...amazing.

I kept wondering throughout to myself "I wonder if he's enjoying this..." and during the one point when he was, I was like "I knew it!" I loved it.

The ending of it was absolutely amazing. I couldn't have thought of a better way to end it, language wise. I didn't expect Frank to do what he did, not at all, and I usually pride myself in being able to predict the ending of stories, but I didn't this time, and I loved the surprise. I feel awful thinking that it was a little sad, though, because I wasn't sure if Gerard knew what it was he was doing, but since he hurt Frank so bad, I can definitely understand why he did it. It was also great how you incorporated both the title of the story and Gerard's words in the last lines, having Frank feed it back to him. Amazing writing technique right there.

My favorite line in this story, or probably any Frerard line I've ever read, actually, was when Gerard says “That’s right..Fight yourself. Just like me...” That is seriously one of the best lines I have ever read. I'm going to rant about it for a bit :P First of all, it's really well-written, though simple, it says so many things: What Gerard is fighting (his multiple personalities) and that he does have in fact some awareness of what is going on with him (so maybe he actually was aware of what it was he was doing). It was also a little sad, too--him constantly having to fight himself because of his condition...Either way, I love it. Love, love, LOVE it. It would be a line worthy of putting perhaps in the summary or something, not to give it away, but maybe just in italics before the summary itself and that's it. I don't know. It's an amazing line and this story is absolutely just all-around awesome.

This was just plain.....Amazing.. Your writing skills are amazing! Just....Wow! I absolutly love this. But, What was shoved up Frank's ass? <3

Wow, that was so dark and twisted and sick...I LOVE IT! Another amazing story.

Wow i loved it! I'm not a fan of rape stories but this wasn't too....I dunno how to describe it...I guess because gee couldn't help it as he has an illness, so it wasnt really all his fault :)

woah, love how you have the personality disorder down :)
this was a really good one shot that i have read in awhile

Love it! Its written perfectly given the theme, and the multiple personality is protrayed well. (I should know, I'm the same!) Well done! x

Oh. My. God. I almost died reading this. MY NEW FAVORITE STORY!!!
You're an amazing writer! Write more like this, pretty please?
And I'm probably going to hate myself for asking, but what was shoved up Franks ass?

I hear him coming out of the bar. He’s alone. Good. I tuck the blade under my arm and back around the corner into an alley. As he passes the corner, I grab him and shove him to the ground. Holding the blade to his neck in that dark alley, I look at him. The soft hazel eyes are looking at me.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I need the other one of you, though.” Quickly his eyes grow dark.

“What?!” the ominous voice shouts.

“Have you ever seen blood in the dark?” I ask as I draw the blade sharply across his throat.

The ending is perfect. Holy shit.
This is fucking incredible; fucked up and twisted, but that's what makes it so great.
I really like how you wrote Gerard's character, how half of him liked Frank enough to not kill him or anything.

Well done!

Miz darling... is it wrong that I keep rereading this?

That was just. Wow. It reallu was good, freaked me out a little in places. I know I'm gunna regret asking this, I know I am. But. Was was shoved up Frank's ass?