Bruised and Beat Up - Comments

Um... Raavi's wrong. Who is correct. Whom is more towards an object or verb. So, "Brydan deserves so much better than some scary freak who has no friends." is actually correct. Who relates to a subject, a.k.a. a person, and it is being used in related to Raavi. So it's correct, as whom would be used more like, "With whom did he eat with?"

Sorry, had to tell you. Other than that, it's a great story! Keep up the good work!

Update soon please!!!!! <3

I wonder wha hae moms up too....

Cant wit for the update

haha that rymed

Okay, Poor Raavi I feel sooo bad for her!!!! I loved these chapters!! awesome keep writing and I cant wait!!!

Yay! You wrote more! :)

WOOO!!!

Im happy now
'
I think she should confront her mother about the stuff shes doing

YEaaaa. i had to re read a few chapters because i didnt rember anything lol

Update !

Poor Ravvi

Ah I haven't commented and I feel terrible!!!! But oh my godhsjdujdjgg theyre so cute together ugh. I know you feel ba for putting Raavi through all this but it just adds so much to the story. Ugh I feel horrible for liking it so much. Hahaha I can't wait to see how youre going to make Brydan did out asdfghjjlgvdv in so excited for more! :D (I probably spelled names and words wrong but it's been a while since I've read this and I'm just super stoked.)

Nice job, I've only read the first chapter so far, but it's really hooked me. :) There's just a few things you could fix (by the way, this is not in order):

1. This transition: "Mr. Yates nodded, and took out a pink notepad. Once I got my note, I ran out of the door, and toward the Art room.
“Raavi, you’re late.” She stated."
It would've been a bit cleaner to put instead of "she", "The teacher", or the teacher's name. I figured because of the action "stated" that she was the teacher, but that didn't come immediately.

2. Another thing in this sentence: "He wasn’t paying any attention to her, but he was watching me walk away." You could either omit the word "he" after the comma, or omit the "but". Both would work, but not together.

3. This sentence: "Staring back at me was a tall brown haired, green eyed boy." The correct grammar would be: "Staring back at me was a tall, brown-haired, green-eyed boy."

4. You do not need commas here (though I understand what you were trying to do with the pauses): "I was currently sitting in math, and I didn’t want to be here." and "Once I got my note, I ran out of the door, and toward the Art room."

Anyway, that's all I could find so far. Otherwise I think you're doing great. You're a very talented writer and this story has a lot of good things about it. I enjoyed reading it. Keep on writing!

Amazing!!
Just started reading...
cant wiat 4 more..
the piture was rly cook

Update soon! :D

oooooooh 0.0 i hope she doesn't go home to bitch mom.. :( that would be terrible.......Love it
Keep writing.

awwwwwww im so happy for her!!!!! they are so cute..
when he knows i wonder what will happen...
awesome still keep on writing!!! :D

It was short but it was perfect and she was so close to telling him! This was sweet, really, I know this is exactly what she needed to do. She'll have to tell him eventually! I loved this!

awww! thats so like...emotional!
really sweet but she's gonna have to tell him sometime...
amazing chapter, i Loved it.

Nah im Not Gonna Comment.......
Aw Eve, I cant believe shes taking him with her! thats sooo sweet!!
awesome chapter and i cant wait for the next one either!!

I'm glad she finally let someone else in other than Teddy & Reef! This is really what she needs in order to better her life and everything. I'm looking forward to what will happen once the two are in Baltimore. What I'm not looking forward to is what her mom will do/say once Raavi gets back. /:

Please update soon! Btw will we ever find out exactly who her dad is? I don't know if her mom's last name is the one I'm thinking of lol. It could be a way to trick us!

AWE!!!!!! they are so adorable together in that 'im going to put up with you but i still kinda like you' way, that made no sense!!! AWESOME keep writing!!!!