Rescue Me - Comments

Hi, I'm the new judge for You Already Have It (Pre-Writes) under Mibba's Contest Revival and this is me judging your entry. Thank you for your patience! I comment as I go, so if it's a little disorganized, I apologize (although, I am making an attempt to keep the comment organized).

In spite of its length, I did like your story. I do wish it was a little longer though. I’d like to know if Jenny lets Aleck get to her or if she finds a way to get him out of her head without having to end her life – I’m assuming that’s what he was hinting at.

Also, very nice touch, your cliffhanger was. Impressive. Cliffhangers can be tough to master some times, and some times, they turn out down right awful, but yours was good. (:

Your writing is good and there are very few errors, but I did see a few, so you just need make to check super hard. But it’s no biggie. Typos slip through all of our cracks, so you are not alone in that, my friend.

Good luck in the contest!

Daaaaaang that's intense! I've never read anything like it. It's crazy. You've opened my eyes in a way I can't describe.

I'm not a huge fan of the layout, the grey on black doesn't do it for me.

If you italicize the 'drip' in the first paragraph it'll kind of make it more clear that it is in fact a noise. Why did turning the faucets cause her hands to sting? The repetition of hands is kind of off putting, maybe change the second one to fingers?

I really like the reality of this piece. I like the way you made cutting seem so intense and real, when it really is a terrible thing. I wish you would've described the pain of cutting. The first time is fine but then she does it five more times and there's not even a whimper? That's not very realistic. I like that she's kind of delusional and I'm curious as to why that is.

I caught a couple of spelling errors here and there but otherwise nice job.

There's only one word to honestly describe this.
Wow.

It's creepy and so realistic that you just get pulled into it.
Incredibly well written, also.
Layout is perfect.

Great job.

There's only one word to honestly describe this.
Wow.

It's creepy and so realistic that you just get pulled into it.
Incredibly well written, also.
Layout is perfect.

Great job.

Wow! Just wow! I'm speechless.
This is amazing. I love the layout so much.
The storyline was creepy and harmful but written so well.
I loved it! :D

Wow, thanks.

And yeah, I've dealt with cutting myself, since I was a freshmen in high school and not I am a sophmore in college and still have trouble not doing it, well I haven't done it for a long time, just think about how easy it would be. It got bad to the point that I had to be sent to a hospital for 30 days, twice.

But thanks for the comment, it made me feel good in my writing and that some people avtually get it.

I would like to start off by first stating that this is the very first self-injury story that I've read. It's a very delicate subject for me, as I've lived through such horrors personally, and I've usually tried to stay away from them. They can be triggering to me and I've stayed away in hopes that I won't start again (two years clean) but this looked intriguing and I decided that I wanted to read it.

Your layout is dark and simple and classy, which is nice because it automatically gives off the vibes that it will be a dark story. The simple colors you chose with no background was a good choice, I think, because there is nothing to distract the readers from your writing. Also, the read chapter title was a nice touch because it almost looked like the color of blood.

Also, the summary is almost haunting. He won't go away. It really caught my attention.

For me, I think that Aleck represented the monster inside all of us who have ever self-injured ourselves. And Jenny, who wanted nothing more than to get away from it and be happy, was overwhelmed from that monster. The monster of her past, as you'd said. The fact that he tricks her into hurting herself when she doesn't want to, and then returning only to try and trick her again is a sad truth for a lot of those addicted to cutting themselves. Because he symbolizes that urge that never really does go away - you either overcome it or you let it overwhelm you and consume you.

You left the ending open. I'm glad that you did because in my mind, I'd like to think that Jenny managed to overcome her monster someday. Sitting around in the past is never healthy - especially a bad past which she so clearly must have had.

I hope you place in the contest you wrote this for. It certainly deserves it, because it didn't focus so much on the self-injury as it did on the monsters we have to fight off. Much to my surprise, I found this to be a lot more deep than a lot of people will read into.

Good luck in the contest and let me know how you do in it! (: