Strength and Beauty - Comments

Wow, I didn't expect this to be so long for some reason. Before I start, I wouldn't recommend on have a centre-align for the layout because it makes things harder to read!

Now, onto the actual writing. There is a couple of grammatical mistakes, like "His own daughter another one of Vise's Victims." There is either a missing comma or 'is'. Besides a couple of things like this, I don't think there's much else I can comment on.

I really do like the way you write. It creates a sort of tension as you're reading, and makes you eager to keep on reading. Overall, keep writing! It's actually really good. It's brilliant when Comment Swap brings you decent reads!

For some reason, I love the mention of the routine tasks of fixing her hair and chalking her hands. It makes it feel more real. And there's such detail throughout the story on the subject of gymnastics technique and competition that I assumed before I got to the author note that you were either a gymnast or you really did your homework on this one. It's very emotional and intense and I think the fractured way you told the story just added to the tension.

When I came across this, I didn't think it would be my type of story at all but I found that I rather enjoyed it. Tell me, did you win the contest? You should have. Its great, really great. Its also great that you're writing about something you obviously have a passion for. Loved it. Sadie J. Blue xxx