42 - Comments

[Stories About Numbers Contest]

What an adorable layout! :D I love the picture.
I love the first line. It was just so weird it couldn’t help but be attention-grabbing.
This is probably the best short story I have read that is about love at first sight. Even though I think love at first sight is just way too corny a concept, the crude way that the narrator expressed his feelings made me like it and made me think it was possible. I thought there was a nice balance all throughout the story.

Awww, I love the fluffiness! I really enjoyed reading this and I think it has a lot to do with how you wrote it. Congratulations on winning second place!

Layout was awesome, I have to say. It matched and I loved the denim-background kind of thing. The colours worked really well.

This story just made me giggle. I absolutely loved the ‘pee her name in the snow’ thing. It’s so typical teenage guy-ish, but then he went and helped with her bags so it made him seem not so gross. XD

I like how short it is and how well it flowed, though some sentences seemed maybe too long. But because it’s a drabble and I liked it so much, there isn’t really anything to criticize...

Well, I’m just gonna say then that I really loved that! I didn’t find any mistakes and it was written so well.

(Sorry this comment is so short...I don’t really know what else to say!)

Well, Miss looks like it’s that time where we review each other’s stories again!

Layout
Pfft, we’ve already discussed that you are basically equivalent to a layout making guru nowadays. I dig the denim-ish background and the story content color scheme. I’m like in love with that banner, I wish I found one that relates to my numbers that well.

Chapter Title
You now have the Beatles song stuck in my head. I’m not sure how this’ll relate yet, seeing as I know nothing of the number 42. However, knowing you this could be anything. I’ve Just Seen A Face could be a lovely face or a horrifying monster face. I’m a bit psyched to read on.

Story
That first line... oh, jees. Have I told you lately that I love you? Hahahahaha, that line is great. I’m guessing a guy is narrating this one. I like how he starts of saying he’d pee in the snow (so boy-ish) and then moved onto to using big words like pragmatic. It gives him character, it says, “Yea, I’m manly, but I know how to use the dictionary!”.

Aww, just sweet fluff. And you know how sometimes you just love the way some people say your name? Well, I love it when she says mine. Just pure cuteness! I kinda just wanna hug them both. The honesty in his comment is what makes it so awesome I think. Especially since even after he felt like he’d popped the balloon he’d still pee her name in the snow.

Overall
does that say enough?

ATTENTION: In case any others are confused by the peeing in the snow thing-- it's a romantic gesture used most commonly by teenage boys, and sometimes full grown men. :)

Layout: I really like the layout. The denim background was cool, the font was easy to read, and I enjoyed the picture; it fit well and I like how it was a picture from the ground. Really cool.

Content:
It’s not every day you see someone you’d pee their name in the snow for. To be honest, I’m just stumped. I have *no* idea what that means. Pee in the snow? Where does that come from? Is it because the MC is scared, or happy, or shocked, or what? O.o

But I swear in the moment that I saw the girl in parking spot 42 unloading her groceries from the basket on the front of her arrest-me-yellow moped, I would’ve if I knew her name, because there really is something to be said about love at first sight. Wayyyyyyy too long; by the time I got to the end of the sentence I was confused. Also, I read “moped” like mope-d, but I know you can’t do anything about that since it’s moped.

When their eyes meet yours… it should be “his/her”, since it is one person and not a group of people.

~Throwing this in there: I really like the first paragraph second half. It was so sweet and so full of imagery I could picture it happening to me xD. I also like the connection at the end with the first sentence, though it still confused me a little.

Overall: It was very cute and I loved it. :)
Total Word Count (excerpts included): 258

Aw, that was absolutely adorable. I love Mason x3

haha, i love the pee in the snow thing. that was cute...in a gross way. :) the whole thing was great, good look with your contest! :{D