Unforgivable - Comments

I'm impressed about how much backstory you managed to give a character that originally had none. You made Blaise such a complex character, and I really enjoyed that about him. Also, I liked that you had such a big plot twist in there, something that was not at all expected.
However, some criticism: you have quite a few typos, mainly little things that may have been skipped over upon initial editing. Moreover, your formatting is incorrect in terms of mibba standards. Having blocks of text, which is how your story is set up, albeit intentionally or otherwise, can potentially get your story reported and even deleted, just as a warning. And I found the dialogue, especially Jenna's dialogue, for some reason, to be very, very mechanic, almost unnatural.
There were plenty of things that I liked, though. I liked that Blaise didn't choose to be a Death Eater and that he was forced into it by his step-father, that he only went along with it for love of his mother. You gave Blaise such an interesting dynamic, and I found that to be excellent.
This was a good story to read, and I found it enjoyable. Good job! :)

OMG, that was SO good! I totes din't see that coming! Jenna was SUCH a BITCH! Wonderful plotline, though, and I think you did really well making up Blaise's character. A few errors though.

E.g. You've written vile instead of bile. And a few other eeny meeny errors.

BRILLIANT overall, though.

P.S. He is a YUM chocolate man! ;)