First, thanks for joining my contest! I felt that I should comment before I start judging.
To be honest, I loved the story and the way you told it. You use words in a way that I can feel what's going on and I thought it was very cute in general. Your layout is very nice and works well with the story. As far as grammar goes, it's very readable, but you have a few commas missing in sentences where you're talking to sommeone in the dialogue. For example, "Hello, beautiful." instead of "Hello beautiful." The only other thing I want to say about the grammar is that you have letters missing here and there in words like well. If you could, I'd like it if you could go back through and fix those before I judge the entries.
Overall, I loved the story itself and that's what's important. Again, thank you for joining the contest, and good luck.
To be honest, I loved the story and the way you told it. You use words in a way that I can feel what's going on and I thought it was very cute in general. Your layout is very nice and works well with the story. As far as grammar goes, it's very readable, but you have a few commas missing in sentences where you're talking to sommeone in the dialogue. For example, "Hello, beautiful." instead of "Hello beautiful." The only other thing I want to say about the grammar is that you have letters missing here and there in words like well. If you could, I'd like it if you could go back through and fix those before I judge the entries.
Overall, I loved the story itself and that's what's important. Again, thank you for joining the contest, and good luck.