Pass Me By - Comments

-First chapter.
I love the description you use. My gosh how I would give 1,000 dollars to write like you. :(
I love the layout even though I've already said this I love how he's sitting with his gutiar
I love the conept of the story it makes me wonder how he know's everyone maybe will soon find out?

I like the layout for this, and I also like the way you start out with imagery. The girl in the first paragraph of the introduction was very easy to picture. I do wonder, though, how he knows her name?

Additionally, I was a bit baffled by how a blind guy could be attempting to hide his disability, especially from his work, rather than just strangers? That seems a little implausible.

And how does this kid narrating know so much about everyone?

This is really cool so far! It's got quite an original plot, and aside from a few small mistakes, it draws the reader in very quickly. It's also quite the feat that you've managed to generate so much interest with only the prologue so far. Well done!

I really like the banner and layout. I get a really calm vibe from it. The summary was good and I liked your use of bolding and italicizing...the only problem I had was where it said "Recently diagnosed blind, however hides it to avoid being fired..." it doesn't seem to flow quite right there at the comma. But that's just me.

I really like the idea of him knowing everyone's 'song'. Its a really original idea(:

The Estella character (I adore that name by the way) is very mysterious; the way she seems to change personalities is very intriguing. This is a wonderful start to a story, keep it up! ^_^

To begin, there was this awkward, yet cool moment, when I read the girls name and saw "Montgomery". One, it's my mom's last name, and two, it's my ex/(hopefully) future boyfriend's last name. I was just like DUDE! FUU YES!

This may take a while because at the same time I'm updating a different story, but that makes it better because I can take my time.

Now, I love this whole, he know's their stories thing. Is he phsycic? Or... I don't know any other way I could describe him knowing all of that, hahaha.

On to the prologue!

Ahhh, this intrigued me too the max! This Estella, I have a feeling she may have multi-personality disorder =3 I could be totally wrong! But I don't know how else to explain the way she's acting. It seems mental disorders are the first thing that come to mind when trying to explain the unknown. I like her character though, it intrigues me. I want to know what's up with her. And the main character, I want to know how he knows all of this. Is it just that it's a small town? I mean, how could he know all of that if it's just a small town?

Your layout is wonderful, too. I love the banner <3 I'm subscribed! I want to know more!

Okay, I think I told you this before, but i love your layout. It's amazing this is your first story and you're new and you managed to get your layout look pretty darn amazing. It's simple but it's pretty amazeballs for a first, when I made my first layout, it was shit. I also love your summary, it's very intriguing and already it tells a little about Nicholas' personality. You can already tell he has that quiet, super observant, kinda creepy vibe, haha.

I like the fact that although, Nicholas is a genius at telling who people are, he's intrigued by Estella. Nicholas is a pretty darn mysterious guy himself, and yet he's mystified by Estella. It's quite a refreshing change from the open-book person wanting to know more about the person of mystery, and it's quite fascinating to see. I'm subscribing :3

OOooOoH!! :D I like! :D and I'm sorry for taking so long I just got in to work and only know, had access to internet hahahaha
Anyway, the intro is good, simple and straight to the point.
The first chapter is nice. I like the mysterious feel to stella and the kind of bohemian feel to the other character.
Not to mention that the layout and banner are real good, easy to read and pretty :D Keep it up! I'm subbing :)

"...that girl by the name of Estella Marie Montgomery, the girl with no story."

I adored that line.

This story is very creative, I really want to know where it is going. It's well-written and crisp and I can just feel the potential. Plus, I really wanna know who Estella is and why she always acts different, and I want to know more about the Nicholas, who sounds like an interesting character as well. You've just earned yourself a new follower, ma'am. c:

How dare you! Capture my interest with wonderful layout then fish hook me with elegant writing style that allowed me to the the annoyance she is blank page in his book. And I want to see more of this story because you've picked my curiousity by making me question, "why is she unknown by him, how does he know the lives of everyone else, what is his story and song?!"

Really, I loved it :3

The summary was also a great hook. I think the small problem I had with it lied in this bit:
"Recently diagnosed blind, however hides it to avoid being fired from a large, designer clothing company. Not to mention, he's Blonde's date." I think it would sound better 'however hiding it from the large designer clothing company who employ him' it feels incomplete, see. Also, the not to mention feels unnecessary, I'd prefer it was something like 'He was also Blonde's date'.

I really enjoyed this however, it was written beautifully. You've also written it in a way that your characters have me ridiculously curious, they're brilliantly formed thus far. I'm really excited to see where this goes. Good job! :D

Oh. My. Gawd.

I did not see ONE mistake in the whole thing. This was absolutely amazing! You detailed it gracefully and added something I never heard before. Bravo! This is excellent. So perfect.

Good work, I want to know more!

Loving the plot, really interesting, and a completely new idea, which I'm excited about :)

Nice layout too!

Love the layout. Hands down :)

So far, although there isn't much there to go by I love the mystery you've placed in the story. It's amazing, in all honesty and I am subscribing. For your first story on Mibba I think it'll go far :)

I'm not sure how much I like the banner, just because his tennies make me laugh. haha.

I like the background image a lot, and I like how you've italicized some words, bolded the characters, and kept everything centered.

This didn't make sense to me: "clothing designer company." Just because I think there's a different word or phrase for it, but I can't quite think of what that word is.

Other than that, I like the layout, and the above comment is the only thing I'd change.
I'm interested as to how he knows everyone's story, and if played right, I'd definitely come back to read how he knows her story after I learn how he knows the other stories.

First of all, I really like the banner and layout. (: They're very light and just cute.

So, this seems very interesting and it makes me want to read more. The only thing I'd say would need improvement is this line : Which she will be, again, late to. I don't think it should be a seperate sentence from the other.

I also wasn't very fond of this sentence : Also Blonde's date. Maybe something the lines of He was also the blonde's date.

Good job so far though. <33 (:

I thought I'd share my opinion in here than on your journal. I really like the summary, you set it up for a potentially great story. I myself like the idea of people who just sit in town and play their instruments - I even mentioned that kind of thing in one of my stories & my profile, so I definitely already like where it's heading. I'll be looking out for the first chapter :')

I love the layout and the summarry so far :)