Voyeur - Comments

That eye and the short description were really creepy, I was like geez, I feel like maybe I shouldn't read this but it's like beckoning to me with this creepy stuff so I will, and here I am. I really like how you use grays in the layout, and they're not like conflicting grays, if that makes sense. It all goes together well.

This really makes me think, like what if there is someone always watching you, like literally and taking pictures or something? You'd better be a saint because who knows what pictures the person could get and who knows what the person plans on doing with them. This was sick and different, I guess in the best way but still sick, I liked it though.

This was such a creepy drabble, but it came together and I really liked it. I liked the snap, snap, snap, because it was a good little add-on that worked and made the story seem more realistic. I like the cliche; although it was a cliche, it happens in real life and it really works. It was also so stalkerish; imagine that happening in real life (not the having-sex part, but being watched at all moments)...that gives me the chills! Overall, great job! (:

I love this one shot. :) I found the constant snap snap snap to be an effective touch, and I found it fascinating that a man (or woman? I don't know why I assume male) could know these two so well and he's just someone they pass occasionally in a lobby and don't think twice about. Honestly, what he's doing should disgust me, but I find it compelling. I can feel his fascination and thrill with each snap.
Very nice work. :)

I like how you've got this word that creates this story for you. After reading what it meant, I was like oh, here we go. See what happens here. I liked how it wasn't something completely perverted, if you know what I mean? It was something that held a curiosity, something that might serve a justice of sorts in the future - like evidence for the wife, or just an act of blackmail. I just like how it could possibly set the man up for future events/occurrences.

I think it was pretty neat how you used the constant snap, snap, snap to just reinforce that while this man is having a stream of thought, he's also doing something at the same time. While he's judging them for their appalling behaviour, he's just clicking away to capture it. I also liked how the last one was a 'click' to show that his film was out, and that was the end - the end of both scenarios. But it was also neat how he had to go and get some more film, because he knew that they were coming back at another time. Makes you wonder how many pictures he has of them, and what he ultimately plans to do with them.

I also liked the description you used to represent the man and the woman; She always smells of sweetness: vanilla and strawberries. He of sweat and sin. - it just creates a lovely contrast of a woman who doesn't have to worry about a husband - because she doesn't have one, and the man who is prepared to cheat on his wife. It's just pretty neat how there's the contrast of what might be considered as right, and what's definitely wrong.

My only criticism is that some of the repeated words seemed a little awkward. Like, it is and I am. I think maybe if you just shook it up a bit and went it's every now and then. I'm not too sure about the I am though, and what you could replace it with, because it's just showing what the person's doing. :/ Just thought I'd point those out for you though.

I've been meaning to read this for awhile but I'm just getting around to it now. I really enjoyed the summary; I'm a huge fan of using just one definition to sum up what your story is going to be about, so that really did a great job at setting up the scene. The layout was wonderful as well; the colours went together really well.

snap snap snap I absolutely adored how you incorporated the snap of the camera's lenses into the story. I loved that first sentence as well; that was delightfully creepy. I also really liked how you focused on the smell of the two person's as well; I find that smell isn't often used enough in stories, even though it is definitely one of our strongest senses.

I am almost out of film. I loved the comparison between how much film he has and how close the man gets to... well, you know. The juvenile part of me laughed at it but it was also an effective way to start bringing your story to a close without it seeming too rushed. Speaking of the ending of this story, I loved how we're still left with some questions about this man. We know he's a voyeur but, as has been mentioned above me, what exactly does he do with these photos? Does he keep them for his own enjoyment or does he blackmail people? I'm honestly glad that you didn't come right out and say that because it lets me come to my own conclusions. Overall, I'm glad that I read this; it was quite clever. :)

I like the simplicity of the layout and the main colours used. It sets the mood because you immediately get this dark, eerie feeling. The banner is perfect as well; the only thing that irked me was the font chosen for the title. A serif font would be nicer but that's just my preference.

As for the content, I loved it. The sentences were concise and there was a wonderful choice in words. My favourite line would have to be the last one because it left me with shivers and the knowledge that the narrator would keep on taking photos of the couple for who knows how long.

All in all, excellent work!

Where do you come up with this stuff, woman?! It was amazing and all too short. I have to wonder what this person would do with all the shots from their camera...then again, do I really want to know? Probably not lmao. LOVE IT!