Hallmark Village - Comments

I liked this story. It was bittersweet, and it kept me wondering who this girl was and why she was important. The mc became likeable towards the end, and I really enjoyed this! Great job!

That was so heartbreaking. :o
I didn't like the character at the beginning, but then I felt for her at the very end.
Your writing style is beautiful. The ending really caught my attention and I felt like I could look away!
Great job writing this, it was a really great read!

That was breathtaking. I was imaging all of the lovely descriptions you weaved out of the air and put down. I didn’t realize why that girl was so important, not until the end. It really shocked me, you are a good writer. You made me feel and that’s not easily done. Good job!

story comment swap
This was such an interesting story! At first I was thinking, what is the importance of this little girl? Who is this person to her? Why are they walking? And then all of a sudden they were in the water and the little girl with her my little pony book bag was floating away. It had the right amount of detail to put me in the moment. This was really sad and moving, and very realistically written. Well done.

This was just the kind of thing I love, seriously. The way you didn't explain anything, just wrote it through and let things reveal themselves bit by bit, I absolutely love things like that and you did it excellently. I was trying to work it out all the way until the end, and then when I found out the girl was only three all of my thoughts changed, and then they changed again when I realized that she was the sister. That was absolutely crazy, almost creepy in the way the other child reacted to everything.

I really enjoyed this. The layout was lovely and the story was captivating, which is impressive for such a short piece. Great job!

Oh wow, I was not expecting it to end the way it did. I didn't think that it was his story nor did I think that they were just little kids. I thought, much like the previous commenter, that they were teenagers in high school. I find the way that you made us think something completely different and then changed it was done very skillfully. I quite like this short story/one-shot. This is very well written, and I liked what you wrote.

The layout was a bit too small for my liking. The words were also too small for me too, but I was glad to have read it. I wasn’t too sure about the wooden background but I think it may have grown on me.

As I was reading the story I thought that maybe he was going to kill her and I thought that they were older, maybe high school. The details you used were wonderful. I felt as though I could picture everything you had written in my head. Then, when the ice cracked, I was like ‘Oh my gosh.’ I didn’t expect that at all. I thought it was a bit cruel that the brother didn’t care, at first, that she was long gone. I was happy to see in the end he came through. This was a surprising piece. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything like it.

I just didn’t enjoy the layout too much, not that I’m an expert or anything.

This line: I instantly was able to grab at the edge. - is a tad awkward to me. It may sound better as I was instantly able to grab at the edge of the bank. You don’t really specify what he is grabbing, though this is just a thought. 

Everything about this was wow. I think you did amazing with setting up the scene and description was just superb with out droning. I really can't express how amazing this is but like genuinely this is really good and everything complements each other and even the name of the town like built me in to a type of comfort and then it was like shocker even if I had a small idea of something bad in my mind there was still some how that sense of comfort. I also like it because it's really a twist from the norm. And the lay out really adds to the atmosphere you also did great with building character in such a short amount of time. So really just great =]

This was beautiful. Tragic, but beautiful. I loved it. It has a kind of elegantly stated truth. Death often doesn't hit you instantly, but rather when something normal to you is affected due to the person's absence. It's one of my new favorites, love.

Wow. This was amazing. I didn't realize that they were siblings at first, to be honest, I thought they were in a relationship or just friends.
But all in all, this was a great story. Good job. :)

That was an amazing story. Although it was very sad, I loved how it describes everything, and it kept my attention span.
At first, I thought it was a boyfriend and a girlfriend, I don't know why, but I did. As you read through the
story, you noticed that they were both little, and they were related.
As I said before it was sad, the way the brother reacts is just genius. "I wouldn’t have the responsibility of walking her home every day. I could go play with my friends. Things were better off this way."
that sentence is what got me more interested. it was as if he wasn't fazed by her death.

Good job <3 I absolutely loved it.

I love the layout everything fits with the banner perfectly.
I love the way you describe things and how this story kept me wnating to read on and finish it. Really good. <3

As I was reading this I was really enjoying how you described everything. It really stuck with me, but then as I continued, I felt like a rug was being swept away from underneath me, making me lose my balance. Basically I mean that I really did not expect this. My mouth literally fell open. I am still in complete shock actually. I knew he was irritated by her, but he didn't even try and help her out D': It's so sad. My eyes even watered. It was so intense. I'm still sort of shocked to be frank. I got even more sad when he realized that she was never coming back. D: This was a really great story. You did a wonderful job <3

I loved your layout, its pretty(:
This was really, really good. Extremely sad though. I didn't know they were even realated or let alone siblings. I liked the fact that he was happy that she was dead but realized that he wasn't so much later. It's a sibling thing and I liked that a lot.
I liked this a lot, good job!

I loved this, it was amazing. <3333