June 2nd, 2008 at 05:07pm
You're biting off me. :file:
I read this I think the first time. It was really good. This is a crappy review.
I like the MCR plus at the end.
You love me<3
Opinions Won't Keep You Warm At Night - Comments
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February 23rd, 2008 at 06:52am
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This is a re-post.
Past comments:- Foodgasm:
AWESOME!
- Matt Parkman.:
- wow....Thats so....emotional...I know exactly how that feels. And I really felt like I was there. I really feel for the girl. Absolutly amazing..
- Celine Dion:
- “You don’t have me. I don’t believe you. You are not always right.” The words spill like venom from her mouth, attacking the silhouettes as they screech in fury. Their words are all lies, she cannot give into them, never. Never will she give into them.
I seriously cannot tell you how much I love the way you write and the ideas you get. I've told you this a billion times, but I'm glad you joined mibba, because you are the perfect writer to me. And the perfect skank. :bat:
You keep progressing with your writing, and I don't know how that is even possible, since you came on here with perfected writing style.
This story shows you at your greatest points. Well done.
- Chicago Sinner:
- That was...wow...that had so much emotion, and you put into words what I have been trying to say. That was just, wonderful.
- The Way:
- Brilliant, even just at the start. The opening paragraph was so... wow.
The very idea of this... it's like, so many people are against all this anti-opinion stuff, but you actually did something about it, in the way we all love the most.
You put it into beautiful writing.
And the premise of this, of her thoughts attacking her, like a metaphor for the world...
Chel.
I mean, come on.
You're pwnful enough already.
You're so... talented.
ACK.
Now you make me more worried about Thrice...
- Peter Petrelli.:
- That was really good. No fantastic :]
I loved it.
- White Oleander:
- Wow.. just wow amazing you're an amazing writer wow...
- Immortality.:
- Words can't describe how well you wrote this!! It's amazing! And it's so realistic, too. Well done. =D
- Sardonic Grin:
- I am going to try to leave a good review, but I will warn you-its gonna suck probably.
I really loved how the whole story sounded almost like a very slow and elegant song; despite the powerful impact behind your words. Your repititions were done flawlessly; and I am probably gonna suck at explaining this but, they just flowed nice. They didn't stick out like sour thumbs and ruin the impact of the story- they hightened the power. And I adored the siren metaphor as I did a five page report on the poem Siren's Song so it was cool to see that in there.
I hope you get to post the other drabbles you wrote! Love the story and your writing <3
- Danny Rinaldi:
- Wow. This is very..very.. no really good. Just...wow. It's so personal and so deep and so emotional...I'm sorry I can't make a better comment, but wow.
February 23rd, 2008 at 06:50am
This review (if you can call it that) is going to suck, but I find it hard to comment on stories like these. The stories that are more...conceptual, I think you could say.
I loved how you set the atmosphere and the emotion in the first paragraph; even though it’s not literal, I could still imagine the situation. The girl sitting there in the dark, the figures dancing in an almost carnival, freakshow-esque way, perhaps even animalistic; that’s what sprang to mind with the word “beastly.”
Referring to them as sirens; I loved that. It made me think of the old Greek myths of sirens seducing men with their beautiful voices and making their ships wreck on the rocks of their island. I really got the sense of how destructive these sirens, ghosts, outside influences are on the girl and her opinions. The use of italics was a good choice, I think. It made it seem more dreamlike or nightmarish, as if she can’t escape from the beings mocking her.
It shows conformity; the way the sirens dance together, sing together and how everyone must believe what they believe, think what they think. And, the fact that the girl was once like that but saw how ridiculous and pointless it all was, shows a sense of rebellion and going against the grain; believing in what you want to believe in and having your own opinion.
The way that the sirens screech when she stands up to them and speaks out, and the use of the word “venom” to describe her words, really conveys that the sirens are nothing without followers. They’re nothing without beings just like them, mindless beings with identical opinions.
If they had of told her to jump off a bridge, would she do it? No. She wouldn’t. Then why should she believe them, and believe what they tell her to believe.
I loved that line in particular. It really stood out to me. I liked the use of the familiar phrase and how the girl challenges it and makes a reasonable argument out of it.
Beautiful piece, overall.
It had a really nice positive message to it.