Stuck - Comments

I love this story and I think it is adorable. I love the simplicity of the layout itself. The writing is amazing. I think that the title for the story is excellent. It's nothing too bold, but not forgettable. I am proud to inform you that you have earned second place. Message me and tell me the information needed. If you want to replace a prize with something else, I will be happy to negotiate that.

That was adorable. Well, actually, that was more than adorable. Logan is just naturally awkward and it was more than obvious that he was scared to death to ask Kandi to prom. But he was still smooth and casual when they finally went to the dance. I have to admit that I was a little disappointed when he didn't confess his feelings for her, but I agree with the last line you wrote. He does have all the time in the world to tell her what he's been hiding.

This was a great one-shot and I can't wait to read more from you!

Anyfic Contest:
I really liked how he was having a real problem, how do you tell someone you really like that you like them? He was struggling and couldn't find the right words, nor could he really tell her what was going on with him. The dance was a fun event to read because he was so nervous and was doing the creep watch. But i feel like i could put myself in his position.
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Layout & Summary

Okay, so the layout and the banner are really pretty. I love the design of having a pattern going down the side of the layout. It's a really interesting way to make your layout. I also like how you don't have anything on the background except a solid color. It doesn't take away from the story, which is good, and it also doesn't hurt my eyes, aha. :) Plus, the shades that you used are very easy on the eyes, so it's not like I would immediately press the back button if I'd happen upon this myself.

As for the summary, I think it's neat how it's just a quote from the theme song. It makes me more interested to figure out what this story is about since you really don't say much about the basic idea, and considering I've never heard this song before. But I have to admit, that while I read this, I'll turn the song on in the background so I can kinda hear what it's about, while I'm reading. (: Personally, I like stories that include the song that the story kind of...is based upon? I don't think that's what I'm trying to say exactly, so I hope you catch my drift. D:

Alrighty, onto the story itself! :D

Chapter One

I'm assuming that the characters in this story are the actual character's from Big Time Rush and since I don't watch that show, don't mind me if I happen to say something completely wrong about the character or something. I'm very sorry if that does happen, aha. I should be fine, though, from watching a couple episodes, so I know what the basics of the show is, so here I go! :D

Personally, I think it's adorable how boy's are nervous about asking girl's to prom when usually, they are supposed to be so care-free and all, "oh, hey, go to prom with me!" You potrayed Logan being jittery and nervous very well, and I could tell just by how you wrote his emotions that he honestly really likes the girl. I don't think you mentioned her name, but for some reason I'm imagining her as a Nicole. hah. :)

James sounds like someone I'd classify as a "BAMF", aha. He seems like a normal high-school kid. It was cool how you used a metaphor (I think that's what it's called, aha. Summer vacation is taking a toll on me.) to compare his ego to a balloon. Very clever. (: His little thought about Logan made me laugh. Silly boys. :) The only complaint I have is that there seemed to be a lot of description and it kind of ruined the flow of the story so far, but it's working great for the visuals of the characters! :)

I was kind of lost about the whole Carlos's helmet thing, but it was all on me, since I'm not a Big Time Rush fan as I'd mentioned before. But I really enjoyed how you compared Carlos's eyes to Hershey syrup, instead of just plain chocolate like most people do. It was very original. :) And again, when you talked about Logan's eyes being coffee-colored. The cliche way is just so...overused, so it was nice to see a fresh description, if that makes sense.

James is so funny. I love when you describe him. He seems so cocky and full of himself, yet I don't hate him. Also, the dialogue between the characters is very realistic. I can imagine someone saying them, and it's not forced at all. Good job on that. :)

His hazel eyes gave the blonde a slow look of approval. In this line, I was a bit confused as to who had the hazel eyes and who he was looking at, but again, it's because I don't really know the characters. I'm assuming that it was James' who Kendall was looking at, though.

The conversation between Kandi and Logan flows very well. And the way you write the dialogue is just fantastic. I can imagine hearing it in my mind while I'm reading, which is something I really admire an author for. :)

It really upset me when Logan didn't confess his love to Kandi, but I loved, loved, LOVED how you described his feelings all through the dance. I felt like I was actually standing there, watching the whole thing unfold right before my own eyes.

More towards the end, I felt like you didn't use as much description as you did in the beginning, probably because you had already made sure you said what the characters looked like.

All in all, this was a very great one shot. The relationships between the characters were voiced perfectly. The dialogue, the characters, the plot progression, everything was fantastic. I'm sure I could have enjoyed this more if I knew more about BTR, but sadly, I don't. Other than what I'd said above, I don't have anything bad to say about this story, so well done!

And also, good luck in the contest! :)

I loved it! There were a few parts I was a bit confused on, but nothing too major. The layout was great. No obvious mistakes. I love how descriptive you are with everything. I also enjoyed how you put yourself into the story. I thought that was cute. The plotline was great. Everyone else used James as their main guy. I was glad to see you use Logan, which I was hoping you would. You are such a great writer, honestly. Amazing job! (:

That was so, so sweet and sad and cute and ahhhhhhh!
No words shall describe my feelings xD

Anyways, I felt like the two strongest points were your characterization and your descriptions. I could easily tell everyone apart (which was good, since I'm reading it as an OF) and just little comments made me laugh, especially with James xD And I never felt like you were too descriptive or sordid, and though it was a little flowery, it felt right.

There were really only two parts I was hazy on. One was the part where they're getting fitted, this bit: James was already lounging on one of the posh white leather couches in his strikingly white tuxedo. Gustavo’s fingers dug into the arms of one of the white leather armchairs, his knuckles growing pale with impatience, yellow bug-eyed sunglasses masking the way his brown eyes rolled around in their sockets. Gustavo's appearence was just so sudden that at first I thought you had messed up and meant to put James. I'm not quite sure how you would fix this, but it was just really confusing the first time I read it.

The second thing was during prom, I know you're focusing on Logan and Kandi, but I would think that he would at least see glimpses of his other friends too, right? I feel like Kendall at least would maybe check on him or want to find him. They all seem like good enough friends that they would want to at least see how the night was going for each other. Especially Kendall, 'cuz he seems to be in on Logan's emotional dilema.

Other than that, I was so cute :D And this is legitly the first SI I've ever read that I've liked, so bravo to you

And sorry I didn't get a chance to comment sooner, I was working 'till midnight and just woke up like, an hour ago xD

I think the layout is a bit too pink and bright but other then that, it's neat and easy to read from. I like how everything is told in a way that you know how the characters feel and what their thinking etc. I love your descriptions and the casual details you just throw in to make it more interesting. It started off nice, Logan crushing on that girl and wanting to ask her to prom. It was a good start and draws the reader in. The story itself is really cute and nice and I loved it. It was an enjoyable read. :)

I really don't like the layout. It's something about the colors, it's pink overload. The kid in the banner's cute, but it sort of just feels... cheesey.

I love how all the guys are around with him; it's sort of cute and it shows their support and relationship. I feel like some of the words you use - viridian, Hershey syrup - doesn't fit right and makes it read awkwardly. Once again, I love how the guys all go pick out their tuxes together and how they all sort of react to just a fancy change of clothes. Once again, your description almost reads as too much for my tastes, but I'm sort of prone to simple words so.

Awww, Logan is crushing so hard on Kandi, it's adorkable. It's just such a normal, cute story that I'm beginning to squee inside a little. It's cute that he didn't make it perfect, that they didn't have a perfect prom ending, but they still clearly are someting and they'll eventually become something more. It's cute.

I like the layout, it's pretty and the colours work together nicely. The background, the sidebar and the banner and the fonts used all tie together nicely to create a cute background for the story.

This story was in third person but I felt as if the other character's thoughtskind of got mixed with each other if you get what I mean? Like, we see how James envisions himself as prom king and then we see how Logan feels about his unsteady relationship with Kandi in just one chapter, maybe it'll be better if you just described the scene of what's going on and left the emotions for a later chapter of them individually, but maybe that's just me. But the emotions were clearly portrayed in the characters' actions and dialogue, we can see that James is full of himself while Logan is more timid and unsure about his relationship with Kandi, and I like the fact that you show but not tell.

The ending was cute, he could totally see how much he adored her. Logan's a bit too sappy sweet for my tastes but it is a good romantic story and it'll be great if you continued on this!

Hey first comment! Anyway this is also my first BTR fan fic and to tell the truth, I enjoyed it more than I though I would. It was very discriptive and well written, I found it very hooking and I am going to have to read more