Hey Moon, XO Under the Stars - Comments

  • Bella Goes Away.

    Bella Goes Away. (860)

    I do love the layout, because it sets the mood for the story. And that's something I find important. The actual story is beyond cute. It feels so normal too, like they do that every night somehow. I liked the entire setting, and I liked the pet-names. I love how it's so myserious, because we don't know how long they've been together or how old they are etc. It gives it more charm, I think. I love the continued references to the moon as well, and the stars. I mean, of course that's hinted at in the title, but yeah, it's still wonderful. I noticed a few semi-awkward word formations, but nothing that is directly wrong.

    However (and I'm sorry to do this), I was bothered by the lack of proper grammar. Because proper capitalization is included in that, and it made it awkward for me to read. Not to mention it's also technically against the rules. Maybe you wrote it like that for a reason, but to be completely honest it did nothing for me except annoy me and give me the sense that you were lazy and couldn't be bothered to hit shift. I'm not saying that's how it is, I'm just saying that I got that impression. So yeah, that'd be the negative of this comment.
    December 28th, 2011 at 10:36pm