La Bamba - Comments

Wow. I wasn't expecting the second person narration for this story, but it worked surprisingly well. I think there's something about that narration style when done right (and you've done it very right) that sort of forces the reader to become more invested (which it did for me.) I found myself almost in the main character's shoes, completely unsure of what I really wanted and only somewhat sure of what was best. I still don't know if I wanted the characters to end the story together or apart, and I like that you've left it sort of open for just that reason.
And on a lighter note, whether I was supposed to or not, I found this piece kinda hot. :3

First off, thank you so much for entering this into my contest. I loved the layout, especially the picture; I think that it really related to the summary (which I loved as well). I'm not quite sure what the lyrics of La Bamba translate from Spanish into English but I have a feeling that I don't need to know to enjoy the story. :)

I must admit that I'm not a huge fan of second person narration, just because it usually doesn't flow very well. However, you did a pretty good job with it. :) I'm not sure what it was but even though I'm only a few paragraphs in, this story is just so wonderfully sweet. It seems so... real. The second person narration actually helped in that respect but it was fluffy without being too fluffy, if that makes sense. At the same time, it's so brutally honest and heartbreaking and sweet. That's what I really enjoyed about this; the emotions in it ran the gamut and each and every one of them seemed completely and utterly real. I have no idea where you got the idea for this but I'm glad that you wrote it; it was wonderful! Good luck in the contest!