Scared - Comments

I can relate to this so much. Dancing around each other, not making the first move, just hinting at things... it's all so accurate. You've written this very well, I think. How it just goes on and on in circles and how they're both kind of having the same thoughts and doubts and everything. Really wonderful, how accurately you've portrayed my life in so few words. The last line is golden. I just really liked this. It was kind of airy and poetic but also real and relatable. (:

Four words: Story of my life. I liked the repetition, and how parts would refer back to the begging. Especially in the ending, how it referred back to the begging and brought the drabble to a full circle. I really liked how it's relatable. Again, it's the story of my life-especially lately. And even though I'm not a big fan of second-person, I enjoyed reading this. But...

I didn't really care for the layout. But I'm a big fan of justify and center for the font, so that's probably why. The paragraphs needed to have the space between them and... that's all I really didn't like, besides it being a little all-over the place. A little editing, or more editing if you did edit, and you'll be golden!

I adored this piece, really. I love writing that has an actual, well, point that it's trying to get across and this really has a strong sort of moral that made me fall in love with it. I think the best thing about it is that I think everyone can relate at least a little bit, because it's so completely true, that's what happens. When everyone says that two people are perfect for each other but nothing happens because it's like rejection is the worse thing in the world, and so many people would rather play it safe than take that giant risk.

It's, well, it's human. I love the repetition in this too, the voice that the drabble has. How they do this and you do this and they do that and you do that, sort of repetition. I think it really adds to it.

Gah, I just really like it. It's so truthful and real and I feel like everyone can read this and just go "yep, been there" and I think that a piece of writing that sort of speaks to everyone is so powerful and that it's really special that you were able to do that. Take a normal everyday thing and manipulate the words to flow so well and sort of become poetic, aha.

:D

Brutally honest? It was a little all over the place. I understand that you were trying to say that falling for someone is scared. And when two people like each other they both get frustrated with each other because they're scare. But In the middle you lost what you were trying to say.
Instead of it being a written work it became a wandering of words. I like wandering with my characters but since this was a drabble and it was in second person it made it seem like you were just rushing to get your thoughts down, and it just didn't flow. Although you did evoke emotions that everyone feels. I had flashbacks going on in my mind while reading and that's hard to do so you did a wonderful job with that.

I don't think you should give up on this style though. Perfecting it would be the best thing to do. You obviously have a lot of potential, just try to reign it in a little and it would be absolutely perfect.

I really enjoyed the idea behind this, and the flow, it made it wonderful and easy to read which I enjoyed. I also loved the repitiiono that you used throughout it because it was a drabble and that made sense. Overall I think it's really pretty wonderful, and the thoughts that pushed behind it rang very true for almost everyone and I think that's a wonderful accomplishment :)

I like the point of view you wrote in, I don't often come across stories in second-person. (: Not going to lie, I didn't 100% understand what you were trying to say in the story but I think I got the gist of it though I was a bit confused. My favourite part was the last sentence, Maybe it's better to be oblivious. Overall I thought it was a good read. (:

I like the point of view you wrote in, I don't often come across stories in second-person. (: Not going to lie, I didn't 100% understand what you were trying to say in the story but I think I got the gist of it though I was a bit confused. My favourite part was the last sentence, Maybe it's better to be oblivious. Overall I thought it was a good read. (:

So, I take this story as in "I like you, and you like me, but we're really not going to do anything about it" and this was the story of my life, six months ago, you know? So I have this sort of emotional response to the story.

I really like the tone you used for this story. I don't know what you did, or how you wrote it, but with the way the words are together, it... fits. Like, it's a bitter-sweet tone that fits with what you're writing about.

I like how it started out simple, went through a bunch of details, elaborating on how moments like that happen, relationships like that happen, then ended simple again. It was a bitter-sweet short piece that really worked with your writing style. Even if, at times, I had to read over a few sentences due to awkward wording, but that could be simply edited out, don't worry about that.

So, in all, I loved it! A very good style, that you should maybe write with in the future! (:

Well, I am not going to lie-it was confusing. But I think that was the point, maybe?

I saw a few places where commas should have been used, but not enough that it was hard to read. I also noticed a spelling error or two, one being "afriendship" instead of just "a friendship. Maybe have someone who is great at correcting check it out?

I did like the layout, though, and how the whole thing came off as a little bit cryptic. I think it has potential if you just fix the few errors.