September 1st, 2011 at 03:01am
I really like the narration in this piece, it is a good first-person voice, and I found the flow very easy to read.
I like the metaphor of life being a party - especially the reference's to university as a chapter.
You used really nice descriptions and this was really enjoyable to read.
Good job.
I’ve always been told that you make your real true friends when you enter University. When you have your chance to finally express your true self, but I disagree. I think you can make your friends anywhere, at any age.
I think this was my favorite line in the story, and I think it's very true.
...because it‘s impossible to recreate something like that again. - I really like the way you worded the entire third paragraph. I think that's definitely a relatable thing – to want to capture those really great carefree candid moments – and I loved that you were able to put that feeling to words. I don't think a lot of people think of it so clearly when it's happening – when you've got your camera out and you're clicking pictures – but I like the 'moment of clarity' the character is having about her life, her friendships, and the fact that she'll soon be moving on to something else.
Overall, I thought this was a perfect representation on how so many people feel when graduating – whether it be from high school or college. I like that you touched on a lot of things people don't really think about until they're in the moment and I think that's what made this piece so good. Reading it made me a little teary-eyed because I definitely remember that feeling – especially when it came to high school because, like you said, even the people you don't really call friends become a part of your daily routine and when they're gone, you notice the absence.