August 18th, 2011 at 04:41am
you have amazing writing, let's just start off with that. like, you sound so educated the way you write; i could barely understand half the words you put in they were so huge haha
besides the fact that i didn't really get the story (maybe it's because i don't read anime), it was very well written and the concept was pretty cool. a little too smart-written for me, but very well written :] congrats
are the countries themselves personified or are you referring to norway and america's governments? it's a little confusing, but i suppose it works for some reason. it reminds me of this comic i read forever ago that played on european stereotypes, i can't remember it how. the text here without the spacing sort of seems blocky and hard to read, in my opinion.
some of your sentences sort of are runons, and it makes it confusing. i'm confused by the ending entirely. the story is honestly interesting and your word choice is seriously impeccable, but i feel it needs just a little bit of checking-over for runons. i don't know the anime it's based off of in the slightest, but the idea is fascinating and you're quite talented.