Weight of the World - Comments

I like how the story starts off with a sort of dip into Alan's life, which is always very helpful when starting because readers (or just me) need that sort of platform to begin with. I especially like how it just starts with the line: Alan hates his job. For me it sort of sets the mood of the story, well, part of it anyway. He hates that his stupid wife divorced him after seven years – this line made me think quite a bit, Alan is only twenty-three but he's been married for seven years. I don't know, but that line sort of confused me a bit. “Hi.” he chirps. - you've put a full stop instead of a comma, but I'm sure that's just a little thing that has been looked over. “Alan. Alan Biggs,” He replies, - the same sort of thing here, but you've used a capital instead of a lower case. The relationship between Alan and Andy. Although they have known each other for a small amount of time, sometimes they interact with each other as if they've shared a few lifetimes together – which is utterly adorable in my book. I love the dialogue between them both; at the hospital, the bit sort of over the phone and finally at the park bench, it all just seemed to fit well with each other. That's another point, I liked how each section moved on relatively swiftly and didn't dwell on insignificant details. As for the ending, I have no words. Call me heartless, but I like it when everything doesn't end up all rainbows and puppies, it's fresh. Though it is rather sad, the idea that they keep the promise is somewhat optimistic, and it was sweet, really sweet, so much my dentist has already complained. >.<

You are such a good writer, your ideas and characterisation are first class.

I probably would've cried it hadn't been
for facebook chattin and some funny moments..
xD but anyways, this was amazing.
Per usual.

<3

Really great! I was impressed with this!

This was adorable and you should totally make a story out of this one shot!
That would be amazing
:D

AWWW!!!!
Cutest fucking story ever!!
Okay, maybe not, but really fucking close.
Now, I'm terribly sorry, but this comment might be slightly short, seeing as how I have to leave in a few minutes and I don't know if I can say what I want to by then.
But, oh my god, I totally loved this.
It was a great mixture of sad, cute, angsty, happy, and whatever else throughout the whole thing.
The only bad thing I have to say about it is that..well actually, scratch that. I was going to point out two things, but I realized that mixed together, they aren't bad.
So I don't have anything bad to say.
I really liked how you started it out about Alan's job, and kept that incorporated through the whole story.
And you didn't make Andy a huge kid-at-heart, but I like what you did with that, and I think I like it better without him being super kid-like.
I loved all of the "Alan never thought...." things you added; those really tied things together, it seemed.
I don't know, I just love your writing. xP
But I have to leave, so I'll wrap this up with - You definitely pulled them off and I'm glad you got them. :D