Having a Blast - Comments

Oh God. I haven't been on here in so long. I miss my cowritter Billy! I hate that she went away. Oh God. Now I'm crying. Billy if you ever made another account and your reading this bich you better speak up. I fucking miss you! <3 C

Oh God. I haven't been on here in so long. I miss my cowritter Billy! I hate that she went away. Oh God. Now I'm crying. Billy if you ever made another account and your reading this bitch you better speak up. I fucking miss you! <3 C

Oh God. I haven't been on here in so long. I miss my cowritter Billy! I hate that she went away. Oh God. Now I'm crying. Billy if you ever made another account and your reading this bitch you better speak up. I fucking miss you! <3C

You have a good story line and you both have nice narrative voices. You didn't jump into a relationship between Alana and Billie Joel in the first chapter, which can happen with band-fics, so good job avoiding that.

One small problem I had though, is whenever someone new is talking, you have to start a new paragraph. For example:

"Hey," Mary said.
"What's up?" I replied.
"We're planning on going down to the beach," she answered. "Want to come?"

It's not really a big deal, I used to do it too, before someone pointed it out to me. I just find if you do use this technique it makes a story look a lot neater and it's easier to read.

Keep up the good work both of you and good luck! :)

Shcwinn. <-- I don't know what that word means, it just seemed to fit. Anyways, I like. I think we should do two more chapters then end it.

Wow. This is really cool.
I like it.
Do keep updating.
I'll love to read more. : D

Me gusta. I've got a paragraph and a half down right now. I'll work on it some more later... maybe.

I can??? Alrighty then! Haha.

ok this is just a general thought but why is sex in every chapter? It's really starting to water this story down (for me anyway)

why is the whole thing in italics??

why is the whole thing in italics??

Yes! Mike is in love with m-I mean Carry......yes Carry.....yes. Shifty eyes SHIFTY EYES!

Jesus H. Christ! It's about time! XD lol jk
Lemme guess... you're leaving me with the sex scene?
Heh, no prob. I'll do my best. ;) I'll beast it.

YES! I'M- uh I mean....Yay Carry's back! And I have another ending for this hcpater: and then I flicked it and the whole place went up in flames and we all died. the end XD

I'd say Tre's back in the game, but I think I'd be lying... lol Anyways, I think you should write all the sex moments. You're way better than me. Haha

PLOT TWISTER!!!!!! Lol nice. Loved it!

*gets to sex scene. screams in terror and skips it* OH DEAR LORD MY EYES! XD

Wow!!!!! Wasn't sure what to think XD That was extreme bra!! Poor Lana though! She can't walk! Damn, Billie's a freaking animal. XD

You did a typo, but it worked so well. "You're better than god enough" All I heard was the quote "You don't know me! You're not god!" "I am god in my eyes!" XD
Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mZyWnH4e4I (news show I was cocreater of and filmed in my room)

Score!! Way to go Carrie!! XD Mike needed to get laid. But wait! No quick morning sex!? What's up with that?? LoL