Bee and Temp - Comments

Yes, it is a bit out of context because I didn't write the rest of the story (that exists in my head). The premise is that Templar and an unclear buddy decided to kidnap Beatrice, whose father is the wildly unpopular king of the small country, for ransom during a peasant revolt. As time went on, Beatrice matured from the silly, ignorant girl she was through the shock of being exposed to the world outside the court and the harsh realities of life as they travelled. Templar and his pals were not cruel to her and she realized that she liked life away from her father and the court.

I'm not sure how I was going to end the story. Ideally would have liked a happy ending but I knew there was going to be angst, problems, and plot bunnies before that. As for the Templar being king part... we'll see (If I finish this story).

As for the etiquette of this scene, Templar and his friends are vagrants. They have no community to judge them for carrying on with girls. Not to say they don't respect women, just that they don't meet the status quo. Templars part of the rebellious second generation that came after the first conservative one. Beatrice feels like she does not belong to royal society anymore and has a period where she wants to break ALL the rules.

A little awkward how there is no setting to ground the story in. It kind of floats and the ending is unclear. Also it seems to be a past day and age, wouldn't she get married to him first and then do all this? And what about her dad, is Templar going to be king?

steamy ;) I love it. It's super well written too. Nice ebb and flow of words, and a beautiful way of putting them