wow this story is kind of... all over the place. but it's still pretty good though.
and to you other commenters up there, if you don't like the story, then DONT READ IT, DUMB BUTTS. if can't handle the waycest, then get out. don't hate, just forget it and leave.
but anyways, yeah. uhmm.. could you maybe like, slow it down a bit? like i said, it's pretty jumpy.