A Lifetime Breathing - Comments

  • jellyfish-spine

    jellyfish-spine (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    29
    Location:
    United States
    Comment swap lovely! It was a really lovely piece plot wise. The progression as a sort of exponential growth that creates a depth in the beginning and notes the lack of necessity of depth at the end. Sometimes it felt as if the point of the paragraph or even piece was a little lost in the tense changes and word choice but overall the goal of the piece was achieved. :)
    July 21st, 2014 at 07:06am
  • peggy carter.

    peggy carter. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    26
    Location:
    United States
    I got this for comment swap, and I just want to say that this is beautiful. I love the way you started each paragraph with "It takes..." besides the last. It really makes you think about your first love, you know? I almost cried at the end; I really did. Great job!
    June 23rd, 2012 at 08:21pm