A Lifetime Breathing - Comments

Comment swap lovely! It was a really lovely piece plot wise. The progression as a sort of exponential growth that creates a depth in the beginning and notes the lack of necessity of depth at the end. Sometimes it felt as if the point of the paragraph or even piece was a little lost in the tense changes and word choice but overall the goal of the piece was achieved. :)

I got this for comment swap, and I just want to say that this is beautiful. I love the way you started each paragraph with "It takes..." besides the last. It really makes you think about your first love, you know? I almost cried at the end; I really did. Great job!