Come Out of the Shade - Comments

WHY WOULD YOU PLAY ON MY EMOTIONS LIKE THIS? I BARELY KNOW THEM AND I ALREADY WANT TO JUST HOLD TORCH AND LET HER CRY AND SOB.

(well i meant to write a more meaningful comment but i was too emotional about it, haha) the characters. are. so. amazing. torch is great. and i loved her 2 cuddle buddies. evie just made me angry, but probably because... meh. 2 comments above has a similar story.

this is gorgeous

holy... just holy... don't even know... this is like my life. exactly. but without the sex because i'm young and innocent and naive and blah blah fuckin blah. something deep down here spent that entire however-much-time-i-was-reading saying IT'S HER, IT'S HER, IT'S ALL ABOUT HER AND SHE'LL NEVER LOVE YOU.

and it was quite a fantastic narration of my life, after all.

thank you for existing, lovely writer.

The parentheses were a bit of an over kill sometimes. But I loved how well developed the characters are in such a short chapter. I can't feel bad for Torch though because she caused this upon herself. Evie seems to be a sweet clueless character that will make me smack her after a while. I love this.

Summary & Layout: I like the font that is used in the banner, especially the ‘M’. Do you know what font it is? Besides that, I like it when the background is white and the story area is black and white font. I don’t know, maybe because it’s just not what we’re used to when reading. But I like it. :)

Story: I think you use parentheses a little too much, and at wrong times. It is something that I would work on. I love Torch. She’s hilarious! A part of me feels bad for her, but another part can’t feel bad for people that put themselves in positions like she did.

lmao i want to cry. you did more than okay. i want to put this on my kindle.
i love that you didn't make anyone the bad guy - because sometimes it isn't people we're up against but circumstances. we're not competing with anything but life, and timing, and sometimes we don't take the chances we're given so we have to live with it. you did such a beautiful job of illustrating that.
there's so much humanity, and so much longing, so many little details... and something very akin to love. it left me feeling so warm in that wrapped-up-in-a-blanket way, but also like something's been taken from me and the wound is still open so it stings a little bit. am i even making sense anymore? haha.
i adored this to bits, you have to know. i don't think i've left you many comments but i have been reading some of your work, but this is my favorite. <3

My comment will not be as large as the ones above, because I am exhausted, sick, and ready to finish judging.

Honestly, I don't have much to say about this. You know how I am when it comes to your writing in general. Your characters are perfect. Torch is an amazing name and I want it. Evie is a bitch. Steffie and Kieran are adorable. And I know I say Evie is a bitch, but dammit! She is just...grr. No me gusta. These characters are soooo beautiful. So is your writing. I just...your writing is so distinct and full of emotion and just perfect. Everything ties together perfectly. I was hurting for Torch, the poor dear. I wanted to hug her like Steffie was doing. I also really loved the relationship with Kieran, Torch, and Steffie. It was so lovingly friendly.

If you don't write more of this, I shall most likely spam the hell out of you until you do. :)

Gah, I have to stop rambling. Amazing job! <3

I must admit, whatever I thought I was going to read, it wasn't this.
This story was something completely different to everything I thought it would be it just blew me away.

First of all, I'd like to start by saying how well this is written. You're narration and overall feel and tone of this story is brilliant because it has a personality. Even though it's third person. You really create the feeling of Torch's attitude coming through in the narration. And your use of brackets to separate from the story - just amazing. I've never seen that done well before, so I admire the way you pull it off.

Your character development is beautiful, and the thing that I love most is that Evie and Torch are such contrasting characters. They just seem so completely different to each other and you've done really well to show the audience that throughout the story rather than just saying it.

My favourite parts of this piece of writing was your ability to use long sentences well. Even though some of them ran on for five or so lines, they fitted so well with that 'stream of consciousness' type of writing.

I think this does well as a oneshot, but I can also see how it can be continued, and I think it would work well either way. You've done such a fantastic job and this is definitely a piece that I could read over and over again.

I really love this. The characters are well thought off and realistic. I love your writing style and the way you used longer words and said that Evie liked those words. You matched the characters with the wording, which I've never seen before.

This is the first femmeslash that I've ever read, to be honest, so I think it's nice that it's also your first one to write. I think you did a great job.

Near the ending, I got a bit confused, though. You used ‘she’ and ‘her’ a lot but I couldn't make out of it which girl you were talking about. Maybe it was just me because I'm tired, but I thought I'd just tell you.

I'm curious about how this will go further. This could easily be a two or three shot, since your chapters are so long, with so much information and a fast plotline.
The layout and banner's beautiful, by the way.

God this is so horribly sad, but you're very talented. I loved Torch and her two buddies at the end, and Evie was just horribly insensitive (which reminded me of my ex) so it hit hard.

I wasn't going to read this, because my best friend's nickname is Evy (and I kind of have a crush on her but she's straight and I could see this happening between us).
But I only discovered this story by reading one of your other stories, which was brilliant, so I decided to give it a try.
I don't regret it, even though you made me cry.
I agree about Torch. She is so well developed and I can already see what a beautiful person she is.
I would quite willingly read anything else you write with these characters. Actually, I'm really excited about it.
You are a very talented writer. This was beautiful.

This is so fucking amazing, I mean it's not like other femmeslash where people immediatly rush IMO a sex scene this one is fricken perfect and I hope you keep it up!

So I'm absolutely in love I must say. First of all, it's really hard to find a good femmeslash story these days.
And then I must compliment you're lovely, lovely characters. They are so beautifully developed, I can't even. You start off the story right in the middle of "action", when way too many people spend too much time trying to set up their story. You were able to set it up from the start, and everything flowed so nicely, it felt like we've know these characters forever now.
Your emotional and detail, well I definitely can't say any constructive criticism for it.
You've sucked me in from the first line and I enjoyed every last word.
Please revisit these characters. Their stories, and their selves, are just too brilliantly lovely to ignore.
Without a doubt, absolutely fantastic dear.

So I'll be the first to admit that I don't read too much femmeslash but you know just how much I adore your stories so I knew that I had to check this out. This may seem like a small touch but I'm so happy that your characters in the banner actually look like... well, ordinary people, rather than the emo/scene queens most people use. I am so relieved to see that.

Torch kind of hated him more than all of Evie’s previous boyfriends combined. I absolutely loved that sentence, especially since it was such a contrast to the rest of the paragraph, which was all about how nice this guy was and then there was that. It just made so much more sense and it was so harsh in such a real way.

The words you use are just so lovely; like astute. I'm not sure if I've ever seen that in a story on here without it sounding weird but it just sounds so lovely and natural when your characters say it. You're bloody amazing.

I haven't finished reading the whole piece yet but I kind of love Torch. You developed her character so well and I just wanted to climb into the story and give her a massive hug because I could just feel how much pain she was in. I felt like I could relate to her and just wow.

Dorabella. Is that a Doctor Who reference there, to Victory of the Daleks? If it isn't, just ignore me, but I actually love that name. :)

I definitely think that you should come back and revisit these characters; you have done a completely amazing job at developing them. I felt for both of them and I could just feel both of them struggling. This is practically begging to be made longer and I'm going to subscribe so that I'll know if you decide to post another chapter or a sequel. Your writing never fails to awe me, Leisha. <3